My Response to the Activist Mommy Slamming LGBT+ People

​Here is the link and heading to her original video. I ask you to watch it before reading further:

As you can see, there are many issues with her diatribe to address…

Dear The Activist Mommy (Miss AV),

In your video where you rant about how bad us LGBT people are these days, you mention several falsehoods and politically-based platitudes. It is important to show truth in the midst of your allegations and victim-first ranting.

You said:
“gender insanity is ruining our nation”. You sound like Dr Michael Brown and Franklin Graham, who are both also completely wrong about all things transgender. Transgender people aren’t ruining our nation. What is running our nation is:
–politicians who claim smaller government yet don’t make the government smaller after they are elected
–out of control debt, unchecked by Congress, even this Congress
–apathy, too many go home and don’t care yet whine about everything with their victim-first mentality that is indeed “making our nation fall apart”, such as you, Brown and Graham.

“Moms and daughters transitioning together”. Yes they are. Have you seen how their depression has completely lifted and now happy living life? Have you talked with them or judged them from afar? Of course you didn’t, you judged from your lofty social media throne. I suggest you give them a call to meet with them for lunch. You could learn a lot from them. 

“Why do we need to bring in kiddie porn, and tampon” to read to kindergartners.”
Ummm no. Jazz Jennings read her book to others to open their minds about science and truth. You should have been there, you could have learned a lot from a 15 year old.

The “LGBT…acronym.” that you mock.  Jesus didn’t mock others, neither should you. 

You make no distinction between sex and gender, you put them all in one lump ball of wax. This is terribly wrong, illustrating how you know little to nothing about any of what you spoke about.

Continuing your victim-first, our nation is going to hell, Christians can’t be gay banter, your recent blog entries whining about how wrong Glennon Melton is for marrying her wife.
In your link
…you allege: “marriage” or homosexual sex. There is no such thing as a homosexual Christian”
Umm, yes there is. Glennon Melton and her wife are two! You can’t see beyond your own understanding thus you are very wrong.. Your scripture proof-texting is usual Tee-Ball League fare for the biblically uneducated unfortunately.

You even have the gall to talk down to Glennon Melton. Have you read any of her books? Do you know how much pain she endured in her marriage that fell apart? According to your post, you do not.

And there are countless others who are gay and Christian. Vicky Beeching is an excellent example of a wonderful gay Christian! Yet you refuse to see anything outside of what you understand. And understanding is what we are taught not lean upon, remember?

Let’s face your reality, it’s not a stretch us to believe you would utter the words: “There is no such thing as a transgender Christian.”
Hi Miss AV, I’m Monica, a devoutly Christian transgender woman. I know hundreds like me in my social circles. There are millions of others across the globe. Even if you refuse to believe anything other than what Dr Brown or Franklin Graham incorrectly claim.

“This is not one of the most embarrassing moments in this country’s history”
No it’s not Miss AV.  “Dewey Defeats Truman” was one of the most embarrassing moments in history.

You mention that if Jenner commits a crime, blood samples will show Jenner as “Bruce”.

Let’s think about this a bit deeper than a drunken singer incoherently mumbling behind a microphone on stage like you are doing in this video…
Jenner didn’t commit a crime of course, but let’s look at hundreds of men (and some women) who have committed sexual crimes who have committed heinous crimes against young children, women and even farm animals.

You brush-off such predators and don’t mention them in your video because they don’t fit your understanding nor your political narrative. Why not DNA test these people that you don’t mention, the TRUE sexual predators? There are vastly more sexual predators that prey on women and children who are hetero than ever will be transgender. Ever. Yet you choose to create a hypothetical situation to make yourself feel better about your own understanding, which we are told not to lean upon.

Please don’t EVER equate a trans person with these sick individuals Miss AM. That is appalling of you.

“Truth and reality and science really mean nothing to the left”.
No Activist Mommy, making this statement of yours is one of the most embarrassing moments in our country’s history. You refuse to look at science laid in front of you, instead only allowing your ears to be tickled with failed theories of hack doctors such as Kenneth Zucker, Joseph Money and Paul McHugh.  You call that truth, it’s not. Long disproven but you don’t care as it doesn’t fit your finite, political narrative.

“They are abandoning their true biological identity”.
No Miss AV, we are not. We are embracing it and living it. You only look at what’s on the outside. Look at this scientific evidence of brain scans that shows we are indeed made differently on the inside. It clearly shows transgender people’s endocrine systems are made in reverse: 

The bible in 1 Sam 16:7 “mankind judges by outward appearance but God looks at the heart.”

The heart. That’s what God is after, even yours.

Sadly, heart is what you lacking when it comes to anyone LGBT. You have no love of God in your voice or your heart for LGBT people. We are merely pawns on your chess game of politics mixed with your version of religion. There is no example of Jesus working in or from you for anyone LGBT. Rather, we hear fear-based politics. That was something Jesus was never a part of, ever. The fruit of Galatians 5:22-23 eludes you because you look for obedience to your understanding of law, not faith in Him.

Your video is misleading at the very least and downright demonic in it’s approach to twist scripture to meet your own need to make people bow to your understanding of God’s word, just like Dr Brown and Franklin Graham.

Enough of your chest-beating, let’s take a look at real love in action…

The world needs to see an example of what Jesus’ love looks like to erase the memory of ever watching your ranting. Here is a photo I snapped at my parent’s house recently:

The two magazines sitting side-by-side could not be more telling of my dad’s heart for his country, God and his family. I am transgender, my daughter is gay. 2 of the main 4 letters you assume to be scarlet in nature are stamped on our foreheads. And DNA.

Yet my Catholic dad loves us all the same. Just like Jesus does. Out of that life is born life, relationship, growth and watching God’s Spirit move in amazing ways. This is the heart of Jesus.

You see my dad is a Vietnam war veteran, he was almost killed in battle during a terrible siege in 1967. Many of his battalion perished in the bloodbath, he was lucky, he lived. I don’t know how he survived the carnage physically unscathed, but he did. Thankfully.

The same goes for my mom, she loves us all the same. In fact, they even love my ex spouse. They go past our assumed understandings of how to react then love. You need to spend some time with them to learn what love is all about from them.

I’m so sorry you are incapable of love like a flag-waving Vietnam vet who watched his buddy’s head get blown off and warm blood splatter all over him. I’m so sorry you can’t love others like Jesus but need to vent your vile politicalisms to rally your base and to tickle your legalistic ears. I’m sorry you can’t see love and truth in front of you even if they have the scarlet letters of LGBT+ on their societal foreheads.

And no, you don’t have to “celebrate our mental disorders…or sin”.
We’re not asking you to celebrate anything.

However, we are asking you to actually look at the science you claim we don’t care about.

Look beyond the outside to see who God made me/us to be on the inside, that very person who you claim is mentally deficient and lied to by Hollywood. You know, be like God in 1 Sam 16:7 to look at the heart rather than like mankind who assumes their knowledge from outward appearance.

The science you say “we” don’t care about is there in front of you, but are you willing to seriously consider it? Or is your social circle so large that an about-face for you to actually follow truth means a fall from grace from your fan base?

I have a feeling you will only dig your heels in even further to your understanding as the fame you currently enjoy will drive you further into religious legalism, making your distance even greater from ever seeing Galatians 5:22-23 be a part of your life in regards to LGBT people.

LGBT people are people, fellow American citizens who serve in our military proudly, many are devout Christians like myself.  Jesus accepts us for who we are, we are saved by the same act of love on the cross. We don’t change from being gay to un-gay. Remember Exodus International…the alleged ex-gay conversion palace? It closed down. It didn’t convert anyone, it hurt a lot of gay people for years go come. This doesn’t seem to mean much to you though. Sadly.

LGBT people are no lesser or greater than you. I see the fruit of Galatians 5:22-23 flow from them freely and often. That’s how I know you’re wrong, dead wrong, about your claim that people can’t be gay and Christian.

Until I see the fruit of Galatians 5:22-23 flow from you like I see it flow from many gay/trans people I know, it’s biblically safe to consider you a non-Christian.

With only offering partial Grace, why do Calvinist-based religions celebrate Easter?

After reflecting on Easter Sunday I ended with this question, why do Calvinists celebrate Easter?

The death of Jesus was the final sacrifice of the old covenant, the temple was destroyed by Rome (“this generation will not pass away.”) that was the end of the age at that time. The end times prophecy of destruction was done. The new covenant was available for all. It no longer existed only in a tabernacle but in the hearts of everyone who so asked.

Since Calvinists only believe in partial atonement during the sacrifice of Jesus, it’s as if the temple was never destroyed. That the new covenant is partially God’s responsibility (Jesus, God in the flesh) and our responsibility by following God’s laws. In that, we ironicallyshoulder most of the responsibility to save ourselves even though out best is merely filthy rags.

Since the law brings death but the Spirit of God brings life, why do these denominations have such a low-rent version of the ultimate and final sacrifice for anyone’s sins paid by God in the flesh on the cross?

Do we sing…

Amazing Partial Grace?

Tis So Sweet To Partially Trust On Jesus?

OK Is Thy Faithfulness?


By disallowing God’s spirit to fully be realized in our faith, we look elsewhere to fill in the gaps that a partial savior gives us.

That partial savior ends up being man’s understanding of God, such as Calvinsism. So we re-crucify God in the human flesh over and over believing we can earn something we can never pay…an eternal debt. But, here’s the thing, it’s already been paid.

By demanding conformity and placing false views of who gets into heaven and has eternal life (only “the elect” will receive that gift?)  we separate ourselves from others artificially. Creating division while demanding strict conformity to a man’s view of God, in this case it’s the recent interpretations of John Calvin.

Calvin didn’t die on the cross for us, God in human form died on the cross for us.

By us placing the dogma of a man’s interpretation over God, we die on the legalistic cross but never gain life in this world as our best is merely filthy rags. Partial grace really isn’t grace.

God isn’t limited to our understanding of Him.

Demanding partial grace, a Calvinistic view is like driving a Ferarri with 2 wheels, it goes nowhere. Fast. And stays there. Without properly equipping it with 4 wheels to allow it to cruise down the road, for the purpose of how it was made, we hobble this very creation from going anywhere.

So why do denominations continually send their members to die on the cross of Calvin-based legalism and doctine-comes-first-conformity rather than the fullness of God’s Spirit to gain life in their Spirit?

I wish I had an answer.


An Open Letter To “Irene”

Dear “Irene”, this is an open letter from a fellow transwoman who understands what you are going through.


I read Dr. Michael Brown’s exchange with you (link below) and would love the opportunity to converse with you further….

We all suffer from shame and guilt brought on by the “I shouldn’t be transitioning, this is stupid, this is against scripture!”. Then that shame eats us alive. I wrote about this very topic yesterday (link at bottom)

Major problem: if we assume our actions drive us far away from God, we are not looking the real God. Instead, we are attempting to fit our emotions and actions into a religious system. Psalm 103:12 is an observation for all time: He has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west. God isn’t far from you. In fact, he’s never been far from you even in the times you thought He was far away due to your internalized shame that you were “living against God’s will”. Rev 3:20 says he’s knocking at the door, which of course means He’s right there next to you! Psalm 139 tells us He’s always there.


We have this idea that sin separates us from God. That’s not true. God is never separated from us due to our sin because he bridged that gap when God in human form was killed on the cross.  His spirit is ALWAYS with us.

It’s the shame that pushes us away from God. It’s toxic shame that has us look away from Him and make us assume God can’t accept us “as we are”.  It’s shame that says “stop being who I made you to be and fit into a system of conformity called religion”.

It’s hellish shame that insists we detransition, cast away our transgender selves to be accepted by the church at large. They welcome us back in to their fold only when we “fit in” to their expected cookie-cutter mold. Yet, some time later, the strong urge comes back to retransition because we can’t keep a lid on it any longer. Then when we re-come-out as transgender, we will be cast out of their church then labeled as delusional, drinking the liberal kool-aid, insane, etc.

There’s a large problem with this church-at-large-acceptance of trans people only if they deny being themselves: God does the opposite of what the church is doing these days. Yes, the church at large is at odds with how God loves and treats His children, tragically.

God doesn’t care what you look like, what your genital status is, what your birth certificate says or what your chromosomes are. If He did, he would have demanded all the eunuchs in the biblical times repent and give up being anything intersex/transgender before accepting them just like modern preachers do these days. Does God do that? No. Did God mandate the authorities check the genitals of the eunuch so they could use the “proper” restroom?  No. Did God insist that leaders check the birth certificate of the eunuch to see if it had “M” or “F” on it?  No. God is only concerned about the heart of the eunuch person in Acts 8, not what’s in their pants.

Did God guilt the eunuch into “being what God created him to be” so they can be accepted by the same church-goers that rejected them?  No. The modern church does that, this is not God’s methods at all.

So why does much of the church in America “accept” trans people only if they sink to terrible shame-based, lows and deny being transgender when God doesn’t do this?  Because the church doesn’t represent God. It represents itself, a system of conformity to man-made ideals, not God-breathed possibilities.

God didn’t paint the universe in black and white, He used the entire spectrum of colors. And likewise with people, we are not black and white, he crafted us differently. Science has unearthed so much information about this topic, yet the church at large shouts “We don’t need science, we have God!”. Yet science is proving God’s breadth and depth of creation!

And to God that’s OK! But to the church at large, we are cast out…and only accepted back “once we stop running from God”.  How can we run from God when He’s right next to us at all times?

It’s the church at large that places the burden of shame on us. It expects us to conform. It rejects people who “aren’t Godly.” It’s not that the rejected people aren’t actually ungodly, it’s that the people in that church reject God’s spirit in front of them, in the form of a transgender person. It, the system, does not believe that transgender people exist.

It, the system, is wrong. God isn’t limited by it. Never has and never will be.

You’re married to a wonderful man, enjoy your marriage. You had your SRS, enjoy it. It’s God provisioned. You can’t see God’s provision through your shame. Once you ask God to remove the shame and show you His purpose, you’ll be much happier. HINT: you won’t be walking into a church with Dr. Brown any time soon, or ever. He will only accept you if you deny being who God created you to be: transgender.

Plenty of biological evidence exists to show we are wired differently in the womb. The church at large doesn’t believe in the facts in front of them from the myriad of research, so they label us as delusional and insane, then dare to put us in the “transanity” group.  Just as they did with those who suffer from ALS, epilepsy, etc. We are just as human and loved by God as them, to God there is no difference.

But to the the Dr. Brown’s of the world, there is a difference: we are not allowed in their houses of worship because we are different. The Pharisees did the same. They were called “the separated ones” because they believed in a “pure” view of scripture then cast out anyone else who didn’t believe as they did.

Sound familiar? The same has happened here in America. (See my recent article Modern Day Pharisees for more info). Jesus didn’t die for us to be shamed into a system, He set us free FROM that system. Including our church system.

How God treats and accepts His children is so very different than how the church at large accepts and treats God’s children.  The church at large demands conformity to it’s rules to be part of their club. Shame is a huge weapon to used to keep people inline. God doesn’t do that. The difference is so striking, many times I wonder if these preachers who separate God’s flock will be stunned at who is standing next to them in heaven: the trans person they rejected, the gay person they argued with, the politician on the “other side” of the political spectrum, etc.

A large part of the Good News is that Jesus destroyed the temple, where God’s spirit solely existed, so that we could be accepted as children of God anywhere, not just in their temples masquerading as conformity based social circles.

You are loved by God and accepted by God the way you are right now, including the shame. He’s next to you  Fall into God’s arms, continue your HRT, love your husband…God wants it that way because He made you that way.

This transgender woman (me) is loved by God just as are you, exactly the way you are in the “opposite” gender. 

God has known since the beginning of time you are made differently, it’s no surprise to Him. The guilt and shame you feel is brought on by those who don’t accept you unless you look like what they expect. You’re bowing to their expectations of you, not the way God made you. So you accept their shame as “correction” and “God’s better plan”.  God doesn’t shame you, mankind does. Even church-going mankind, especially church-going mankind.

Shame is brought on by doubt and fear. Those two toxic pieces have been used the past few years against transgender people in the political realm while claiming “it is of God”.  Don’t buy into that garbage either. There is only one of you. After you have passed, we slice your brain open, we will find the same as mine, your endocrine system was indeed made in reverse. Even then those that “accept you” because you “came to your senses” still won’t believe it.

Acceptance is true from God, but not from the church at large. Don’t swallow the poison pills of fear and doubt as those produce shame that stops you from being you.

God isn’t limited to man’s ideas of what God is.

Irene, please contact me via Facebook, I’d love to converse with you privately.  I won’t try to change your mind and I have a feeling you won’t try to change mine.  That’s the way I approach personal conversations. I want to show you my life, a trans woman who lived with intense shame for 4 decades grappling with this same demon you are wrestling with currently.

And no, Dr. Brown doesn’t have the answer, he only accepts you if you fit into his system of beliefs. That’s not God-like acceptance, that’s what Pharisees do. If you want acceptance by Modern Day Pharisees, that’s your choice.

When it comes to transgender people, Dr. Brown is far from God as he refuses to understand transgender people. He refuses to converse with me even after repeated requests in the past.

You’re not running from God, you can’t. He’s been next to you the whole time, just waiting for you to turn around…He loves you just as you ARE.

You are not a mistake as transgender, you are God’s beloved. He says you belong as you are.  No changing back is necessary, no matter how much the blanket of shame has suffocated your soul to see that. Don’t throw stones at yourself.

You belong to Him. Already.


Irene, you are transgender. God did make you that way. Don’t buy into the “I was choosing to be


Article Link:


FB discussion to this link at Dr. Brown’s site:


My reply to shame (prior to reading Dr. Brown’s article)


My profile link on Facebook:




Modern Day Pharisees In Our Government, Desparately Trying To Erase LGBT People

The state of politics here in Tennessee is at an all-time high level of “Us vs Them”, which means control and conformity to divide us at the state and national levels. A very important part of this toxic division at the state level is David Fowler, along with State Senators Mark Pody, Mae Beavers. They are insistent upon removing liberties from LGBT people.

Why?  “Because God said so”.

I’m not joking. Even in the least.

Let’s dive deeper…

First we have the 2016 GOP official party platform. Here are three important cornerstones of the GOP as outlined in the preamble of the platform document:

We affirm — as did the Declaration of Independence: that all are created equal, endowed by their Creator with inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness

We believe our constitutional system — limited government, separation of powers, federalism, and the rights of the people — must be preserved uncompromised for future generations

We believe the Constitution was written not as a flexible document, but as our enduring covenant.

However, a grave contradiction appears in pages 31-32 that takes away liberty, inalienable rights of life and the pursuit of happiness from those that are LGBT.  Only a marriage between one man and woman are valid, according this platform. This reads like James Dobson of Focus on the Family himself wrote this section of the party’s backbone document. Read it for yourself:

What is Liberty?

Liberty: “The state of being free within society from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one’s way of life, behavior, or political views.”

In Tennessee,House of Representatives bill HB1111 passed this morning. It re-words the definition of marriage, stripping LGBT people the liberty to marry the person they choose. Yes, the government of the state of Tennessee is halfway there in telling people who they can and cannot marry. Thus pages 31-32 of the GOP platform are more important than the US Constitution guaranteeing people the liberty to live their life as they see fit.

In creating government intrusion by weaseling inside the daily lives of many “because God”, the GOP can kiss goodbye to any claim of the “limited government” portion of their GOP platform.

David Fowler, a Tennessee activist and politician, is hell-bent on removing liberties for LGBT people that are enumerated in the Constitution and the GOP party platform. He is the head of the Family Action Council based in middle Tennessee. He really doesn’t care what is constitutional and what is unconstitutional, he said so himself: “if that word makes the law unconstitutional, so be it.”

The LGBT Erasure bill and Fowler’s dreadful admission:

Erasing LGBT people from the political and social landscape is the end game for these politicians “because God.”

He’s going against his party’s own platform as defined in the platform preamble.  That doesn’t seem to matter to Fowler and the rest of these types of people. They have it in their minds that LGBT are not equal under God, under the law, nor the Constitution nor the Declaration of Independence so it’s OK to be unconstitutionally against them. “Because God…

Liberty is only for people who are straight, evidently”

TN House rep Mark Pody (R-Lebanon) in regards to gay people marrying: “it is wicked, it is wrong and I am doing the best I can to warn them.” He firmly believes he’s protecting religious freedoms by removing liberties of others “because God”.

Someone please remind Mr Pody that he is a politician, not a prophet.

Here is Fowler, Beavers, and other state Senators attempting getting in the way of one’s due process last year. This is a gay couple, so they saw fit politically to intervene “because God”:

The politicians that jumped on the bandwagon to file a motion against the couple did so because they aren’t straight, they’re gay. So that inevitably means to these politicians that their liberties aren’t as valid as straight people’s liberties.

No modern day Pharisee’s resume would be complete without being on the anti-transgender person bandwagon. Like clockwork, Fowler & Co. attempt to take away the proper restroom from LGBT people and replace common sense with their declaration of who can use what bathroom.

Last year Fowler prayed with a couple dozen other pastors in support of the anti-transgender measure (yep, more anti-LGBT nonsense) to force men into women’s restrooms and women into men’s restrooms, “because God”:

Praying for legislation to pass so that, if trans people actually follow this repulsive law, will be harassed and beat up.  All in the name of “God”.

Liberty can’t be available for transgender people, they are part of the LGBT. So that means liberty is only for non-transgender people who are straight, evidently.

This isn’t Christianity.

This isn’t what Jesus would do.

However, this is what modern day Pharisees would do.

What is a Pharisee? “A member of an ancient Jewish sect, distinguished by strict observance of the traditional and written law, and commonly held to have pretensions to superior sanctity.”

In today’s USA terms, a Pharisee is a member of a staunch Evangelical Fundamentalist Christian belief system that everyone in their jurisdiction needs to live by their strict observance of the traditional and written law, and they are commonly held to have pretensions to superior sanctity.

These modern Pharisees declare we need to live under their decrees and doctrines. They believe they are acting on God’s behalf.

Could it be any clearer that we have modern day Pharisees running our government? The Pharisees killed the spirit of God, Jesus, and they’re killing the spirit of God in America these days with replacing faith with conformity to their laws.

When we clear away the smokescreens of political maneuvering and half truths, we see the real motivation behind Fowler, Beavers, Pody and the rest of the modern day Pharisees:  “We don’t care about perverse LGBT people or their liberties. We don’t care if what we do is unconstitutional nor against our own GOP platform nor against the Declaration of Independence. We do care that you submit to our view, which is God’s view because we have God on our side. LGBT you do not belong in our presence.”

“…because God”.

Judge people by their actions not their words. In the words of these GOP supporters of these toxic pieces of legislation, they claim to hold up the Constitution of the United States of America, the party’s platform. However, by their deeds they end-run the Constitution, create laws that strip people of their liberties and shred the Declaration of Independence by insisting all are not created equal.

They are modern day Pharisees indeed. Because this is so, we all suffer.

But to the real God, a God these modern day Pharisees do know now because they love law more than they love Him, He loves all His children, including those who happen to be LGBT. He said so with the blood of Jesus. He proved so with the resurrection.

If only these modern day Pharisees would follow the real God, the real Jesus, not a worldly system of conformity with the facade of Jesus’ name on the door. But they don’t.

Until then, we realize we have always belonged to God. The real God, not the false, worldly God of the modern day Pharisees where only straight, non-transgender, non-LGBT people are welcome.

The dream of being on top of the wedding cake

Imagine being a guy walking through life where you see the man and woman figurines on top of a wedding cake, but don’t relate to the scene.  Something deep inside simply doesn’t register.  It’s not that as a guy, you’re not seeing the details, it’s something else, something deeper you haven’t discovered.

Then when you do discover it, that you’re transgender, it makes sense; you only identify with being the woman in the dress figurine on top of that wedding cake.

But, there’s something deeper to this reality that no one talks about, it’s being somewhere in the middle. Often times being transgender means not being either fully male or fully female.  Whether we think it, feel it, or look it, we don’t fit…our hearts often feel this deep, awful tug, but we refuse to talk about it. Moving forward even with this pain is key. Keep moving forward, the pain will go away.

But will it? Depressing is that sinking, painful feeling you get when you realize you’re not on the cake, and you don’t have a chance to ever truly be one of those figurines.  Why? All one has to do is put on a tux or a dress!  No, it’s not that simple. The façade of fitting-in is never enough. (That feeling that “all is right with his life” is a façade. But he doesn’t know any better at the time.)

When girls are little, they dream of finding the right guy for their wedding day.  He will be wearing the tux, her in the dress. Or if she’s gay, and finding the right girl to either wear the tux or the dress on her big day.

As a guy, well, guys don’t think of these things until around the wedding day when he’s proud to see the figurines on top of the cake, he’s in the tux and she’s in the dress, as it should be!  This makes society happy, this makes the guy feel like all is right with the world and his life.

(This breaks the golden rule about shame: never should on yourself and never should on others).

But what if one is transgender? They don’t fit into either scenario. They can’t be on the cake by society’s definition.

He was me.  I wore the tux, did all the right things, played by all the rules, it was a fun and most memorable day! But as I look back now, I was never on top of the cake…I was never truly male and never truly female. However, I could not see this until the last couple years.

And that’s where the painful black hole exists, those that are transgender are never dreamed of, there’s no place for them on the wedding cake. No little girl or little boy grows up with grande dreams of marrying a transgender person, ever.  No little boys are trained to think of how beautiful his transgender bride will be!  No little girl wonders in happy awestruck fervor that she will marry a handsome transgender man or woman. The cold reality is this NEVER happens. No one EVER dreams of us.

There’s no place for us on this figurative wedding cake of life. We have to make a place. We have to look into the hearts of others and ask that we be accepted for who we are. We have to go the extra mile to be more emotionally open than others, that people can see deeply in our hearts even when others hearts are not open to such transparency, so we can show the world we are decent neighbors. We have to continually work against knowing that we’re not accepted in society yet ask others we trust to “go to bat” for us, which can possibly cause them personal social issues with their peer groups. We swim upstream daily against deeply embedded yet false notions that we are delusional, confused, and being led by demonic spirits. We can barely see being on top of any wedding cake with so many life issues being tossed our way. We rely on those who know us for support, for love, for being the backbone of our existence and to help change the current.

Those who know us, know love, they know how to give love and how to receive love.

It takes the love of others to bridge the painful emotional gap between not being on the cake and having a chance one day to actually be there. It takes love to go beyond the usual understandings to see that a transgender human is a human with a soul, that has feelings, dreams, aspirations, isn’t an abomination but rather a treasure to God and man.  It takes love to accept someone different.

It takes love to bridge the gap.

It takes love. The Jesus kind of love that gives but doesn’t ask for anything in return. The kind of love from others that takes away the pain of being different, including being transgender.

Maybe the mind’s eye vision of being on the wedding cake isn’t proper adolescent dream after all…but rather finding those who love like Jesus is really what it’s all about.

Why I threw away the label of being evangelical, in a single meme

Evangelical Christianity.

A multi-denominational belief that Jesus paid for our sins at the cross on Calvary.  And that, by His Grace, we are saved as we cannot save ourselves.

Sounds simple. But man has made minced meat of God’s Grace.

A faction of Christianity claims one can lose their salvation. That one must be obedient to their system of rules and regulations to assure they will make it to heaven after they have an awakening experience (being “saved”).

But is their man-made rule system filled with His Grace or rules that oppress?  …rules that remove a person’s freewill to make a choice for God?

God never removes our freewill, man’s systems do.

If I followed man’s rules inside Evangelical Christianity, I would have pulled the trigger on that fateful evening two years ago.

I didn’t.

I chose life.

My life. I chose to live and say “Yes Lord!” to his path for me, even though I vehemently did not want it.

Within a short period of time, the life-long depression was cured.  Along with a lifetime filled with anxiety, anger, emotional numbness and unexplained nerve twitches that vanished.  And there was no need to consume all that alcohol any longer as the pain was gone.

Honesty about the core issue was the cure.

I was honest about who I was and am: I’m transgender.

But evangelicals claim one can’t be saved and transgender, that my “sin” (aka my “delusion”) would have been washed away by my salvation experience.  And then quickly claim that my salvation experience wasn’t true or valid as I’m still transgender, and thus consider me delusional. Even though I am pro-life and chose life, my own, I was still shunned from churches for being honest, for being transgender. Go figure.

What this evangelical frame of reference fails to take in to account is the complete fulfillment of God’s Grace at the cross.  Jesus didn’t make a partial sacrifice so we continue to strive for His favor, He made a complete and full sacrifice. No more sacrifices necessary. Don’t worry, Jesus has it covered.

However, when you are neck-deep in the pig sty, the mud pits of life, groveling around in the wet, slimy hog slop that is depression, anxiety, emotional numbness, alcoholism, and anger, then some guy taps you on the shoulder, you look back and he says gently with wide open arms “neither do I condemn you”, it is then that you realize His Grace.  It is complete.

Nothing else is required.

No God didn’t take my trans away, He doesn’t do that. He’s not necessarily in the business of curing our physical issues (yes, being transgender is a physical thing, not a mental one) but rather He’s in the business of changing hearts. He changed mine. Gone is all that hog slop, replaced with peace, levelness, compassion, hope, love, joy and a vigor for life. All of these proving the fruits of the spirit found in Galatians 5:22.

You would think that now living the fruits of Gal 5:22 the evangelical community would give the Lord praise for turning my life around, right?

Tragically, no.

Direct fruits from God are not good enough for most evangelicals. Since LGBT people are looked down upon as the political enemy, the scourge of America, the obvious fruits of God working in their lives as outlined in Galatians 5:22 are quickly discarded.  Instead, they insist on conformity to their man made sets of rules rather than looking at the Grace of the very scripture they often quote.

God’s proof of a heart change, His fruits of the Spirit blossoming in the life of a person, are discarded. The only acceptable proof for these evangelicals is conforming to their religious system of man made rules.

The Pharisees did the same in Jesus’ day. After all, they downplayed all his miracles, publicly embarrassed Him, then drove Him to his grave because He didn’t conform to their man-made system of rules. And the same exists today in the trans community. That is why the suicide attempt rate is 41% for transgender people, vastly higher than the rest of society. We cannot ever be not trans and thus conform to the rules of those religious systems. Asking a transgender person to not be transgender is like asking the sky to not be the color blue. But that is what the evangelical church is asking, the absolute impossible.

Grace isn’t just about enabling someone not to sin, it’s about covering all the sin that one will continually fall short from, not just now, but for all eternity.  That’s why Jesus’ sacrifice was the final sacrifice, for everyone. No exceptions. Not even for evangelical people or transgender folks, we are all included.

This meme created from words by John Piper (and reposted by Dr Michael Brown) is wrong. Not only is this not found in the bible, this lesson is not inferred in the bible either.  This shames people into submission to focus on not sinning, that is wrong. Grace is freedom to be in Christ, so that the fruits of Galatians 5:22 are able to blossom in a person’s heart.  God takes care of it all.  Don’t worry evangelical church, He’s got it, He’s God after all, not you.


Rules, or law, is death.  His saving Grace is life.  My life. Your life. All because Jesus sacrificed His life.

The sweetest words I have ever heard were not uttered from a preacher attempting to condemn me further into submission or him attempting to prove how much he knows about a particular political subject by quoting bible verses.  Oh no.  Those honey-sweet, life-giving words were simply “neither do I condemn you.”

When all you have is Grace, you cherish it for the beautiful gift it is: life.

Questions a staunch evangelical would ask Jesus about his time with the “least of these”

These are questions I sense a staunch modern-day evangelical church goer would ask Jesus after he had dinner and hung out with the outcasts of society.

Dear Jesus, when you had dinner with the lepers, the tax collectors and the homeless, what did you do?

Did you say a proper prayer and fold your hands before dinner?…did everyone follow you on prayer like they’re supposed to?

Did you hear people say bad swear words at the dinner table? Did you look at them in a scornful way to make sure they knew they should never have said those words? If they take your Father’s name in vain, did you reprimand them immediately?

You knew all their sins they committed in their entire lives. Did you call them out on their unconfessed sins?

Did you tell the woman who is cheating on her husband that she’s going to hell if she did not obey and repent?

Did you tell the tax collector to give money back that he stole?

Did you tell the married women to be submissive to their husbands?

Did you tell the older men to stop having sex with underage young men? After all that was an accepted cultural practice in Rome and other places.

If anyone burped, did you say to them “excuse you”.

If someone sneezed did you say “God bless you”?

Did you tell the gay people that they had to turn from their lifestyle otherwise they would be going to hell? If they did not turn from their sinful lifestyle, did you send them out of the dinner meeting away from your presence like we do in our church?

Did you tell the eunuch that one cannot be transgender and Christian? Did you demand they stop their herbal hormone supplements? Did you tell them it’s just a phase? Did you cast the demons out of them?

Did you make sure to let the women do the work cleaning up the table and the dishes after dinner?

Did you make sure the kids only spoke if spoken to first?

Did you bother healing anyone if they do not tithe to their church?

Did you leave a tip of half a fake $20 bill along with  a prayer card?

When you went to the public restroom, did you inspect the eunuch’s private parts to make sure their genitals match the proper bathroom?

When you ate with the homeless veteran, did you share Bible verses with him and tell him “you just need more faith”?

When you went to the market, did you demand a discount for your evening’s food because you knew the owner and he’s Christian?

After dinner, did you have a Bible study, but only using the original KJV?

The American church has a huge problem, lack of honesty.

Definition of honest: free of deceit and untruthfulness; sincere.

Therein exists the problem of a large percentage of church congregations across our land.

The American church at large would rather that gay or transgender people never be honest about themselves so they would never come out. That it would be better if they continue to be dishonest about who they are, hide it away from the rest of the congregation.

If the church allowed them to be honest that means many people might leave their church, thus the tithing would go down. Losing money is not tolerable.

It’s better to keep people in a painful, dishonest state so the church can keep the money flowing in. This is not WWJD. But that’s what you demand.

The bible did not contain the word “homosexuality” until 1946. Changing the meanings of words in the bible is not allowed of course, except for you.  You’re special evidently. All so you can keep your dishonest campaign against gay people going full steam ahead.

The original word in Romans 1:27 was pederasty, where we get the word pedophile. Homosexuality does not mean pedophile. But to your dishonest and deceitful teaching to your flock, it does. Preachers are not diving into the history of the sacred text, instead they lazily take the English versions at face value and continue the cultural demonization of gay and transgender people. So people leave your services thinking that gay people are the same as pedophiles and parrot your words as if you knew the only anointed view of God Almighty.

After all, you were the ones who possess the theology degrees, the shiny plaques proudly on display in your offices, so you ought to know the Bible better than anyone. Including the radically changed verses in the 20th century. After all, people go to you as an authority for all things, so whatever you say goes, including whatever the political winds of the day happen to be. Yet you know darn well Jesus never played into any of those political winds in his time, so why are you?

Preaching corrupted gospel to keep the flames of the faux culture wars raging makes you feel good, makes you feel patriotic, makes you feel like you’re exercising that doctorate degree in theology with great aplomb.

You kick out gay and transgender folks out of your churches because to you it’s the right thing to do. Your theology school crony feel the same. They understand the same corrupted gospel regarding gay and trans people as you. It makes you feel safe alongside your peers who have the same theology degrees on the walls to show them the door. No pressure for you to have your social circles challenged if you kick out those Jesus would spend time with.

Really, kicking them out of your congregation is more for your comfort than for the heart and soul of the person you’re telling to “leave now, you’re no longer welcome here”.  That is, if you actually tell them. Often times, the pastor instructs subordinates to do his dirty work.  How convenient.

But what about the hurting, needing soul you just kicked out?  Irrelevant to you as you shun it off as “they need to stop their sin”.  Again, not WWJD.

During your coffee times together with your preacher cronies you tell about how you “had to kick out a delusional man (trans woman) from the church” because “he did not turn from his sinful ways”. That sells in your voting-for-Trump-after-you-said-you-would-NEVER-vote-for-Trump-circles, but it’s dishonest, Jesus would never do this. It’s on the wrong side of salvation, its on the wrong side of Jesus’ love and it’s on the wrong side of history. But you continue anyway thinking you are doing God’s work.

You’re not.

You are the ones kicking gay and trans gender people out of your churches, not Jesus. Jesus sat down and spent time with them, you’re not.  You’re kicking them to the curb so you don’t have to sup with these “vile sinners” any longer.

You’re doing the work to make yourself be comfortable in your system and your social circles. It’s all about you. That’s horribly dishonest to the hurting person you released from your church.

And God forbid they were part of your small groups. They would be put on the hot seat and told they would have to “give up their sin because they were going to hell”. They would be prayed over many times even though they can never change. Because you can’t change a gay or transgender person.

God’s business is changing hearts, not biology. You’ve made your business to make people conform to your view of God’s text.  Again, dishonest to the very purpose of Jesus’ church.

You refuse to listen to their hearts, only judge them by their willingness to conform or be cast out of your country club Sunday gathering. That’s dishonest of you in light of your mission to be a representative of Jesus as Jesus always placed the heart of the person before anything else. But you don’t with their hearts. You reject them instead.

You reject them when they needed you most. Exactly the opposite of what Jesus would do.

So as you stand in front of your Sunday morning meetings and Wednesday night Bible studies preaching falsely about gay and transgender people, berating them as following an agenda and telling your congregation if they don’t “give up their lifestyle”, remember you are being highly dishonest. You are using them as political pawns in a chess game you have never been asked to be the King or Queen of.

The only agenda that is being followed is that of the church’s dishonesty with handling situations of gay and transgender people sitting in it’s chairs. “Conform to our demands or be cast out” is not Jesus’ way, but it’s the way of so very many church institutions.

You’re doing exactly the opposite of Jesus would do. He placed loving them in front of the system-based conformity.

I must ask preacher, why is your dishonest system of demand conformity so much better than the grace covenant of Jesus?

And you wonder why fewer people are attending your services every year, you are not free of deceit and untruthfulness. 

When Pastors and Preachers Place God Last In Their Personal Trinity, 2016 Is What Happens

A disturbing trend has been happening for quite some time and with the 2016 election season, it has now reached a feverish pitch.  That trend is pastors and preachers putting God dead last in their personal holy trinity.

Oh I know, it’s supposed to be Father, Son, Holy Spirit. The Bible says that, these preachers say that, but that’s not what’s happening in real life.

Interpretation of the bible is their real God at the top of their trinity.  Their understanding of God is finite, yet they claim to know much about topics they never encountered before…such as transgender people.  Or gay Christians.  Rather than diving deep to understand the issue from one of experience and grace, these preachers and pastors filter what they know and the political winds of the day through their own minds.  And whatever verdict they reach is God’s truth.

For example, they have said that living the transgender lifestyle is incompatible with God’s teachings.

Really? Where does it say that in the bible?

It doesn’t.

They quickly point to Deuteronomy 22:5, the “crossdressing” verse, as ample evidence for their finite conclusions to become law over others.

Problem is, that rule was made 3,000 years ago so men wouldn’t dress as women to get out of serving in the theater of battle.  Or for looking for illicit sex by posing as females of the night.  This law has nothing to do with honest hearts and people, aka, transgender people.

Russell Moore of the Southern Baptist Convention wrote a 7 page “John or Joan” article in 2009.  Sadly it was highly influential on SBC churches on how to handle transgender people when they come out: make them stop taking hormones, show them that God’s “real plan” for John was really John all along and that through prayer and repentance, God can make John a whole John again!

This article Russ pens shows how woefully out of touch he is with the reality of trans folks.  Transgender people have amazing results with hormones clearing up lifelong depression, anxiety, emotional numbness, etc.  According to Mr Moore’s plan, he insists that John’s hormones be immediately stopped so that the person reverts back to their depressed, anxiety-ridden state of being where he consumes mass quantities of alcohol to kill the pain.  This only shows how Moore doesn’t understand the transgender condition whatsoever.  But those in such churches, they insist that God only made man or woman (Genesis 1:27).  No, read that again, God made man AND woman.  And with the trillions of transactions that happen in the womb, often times things don’t go as you expect them to turn out. This is a system (the SBC) placing it’s views and replacing God’s views on the subject.  SBC, you’re not God.

What Mr. Moore fails to understand is what we have told you all along, we are different.  No document you create will change the biology in our brains.

No amount of prayer fixes transgender people.


Not even prayers or burnt sacrifices offered to God by Dr. Paul McHugh himself will cure a single transgender person.

Self-acceptance is what saves us from the suicide attempts.  Having community that loves us and wants to see us flourish is the other key factor.  Since you insist on taking away the hormones that help us tremendously and take away the community of church from us as most times we are kicked to the curb as you and all the pastors downstream insist trans people change or get out of their churches, you offer us no other choice: go out into the world alone and emotionally broken.

The exact opposite of what Jesus would have done.

You see, “living the transgender lifestyle”, as you say, isn’t incompatible with God’s teachings.  No, your Pharisee, separatist, closed-hearted ways are incompatible with the saving grace of Jesus Christ. He saves us no matter what we look like.

Then, the topic will change and will insist, that gay people cannot enter into heaven unless they stop being gay.  God can and will deliver them from being homosexual!

This too…really?  Where in the bible does it say that?

They reply: It’s in 1 Corinthians 6:9 and Romans 1:27, it clearly states that the Lord sayeth that homosexuals can’t entereth the kingdom of God!

It doesn’t. Again.

Oh it does in English translations from King James and newer, but a more involved study of this topic when looking at the original words of the bible and cultures that the author Paul was looking at paint an entirely different picture…

In the first chapter of Romans the word homosexuality was never there until 1946. We are taught to never change words of the bible but for this word, it was given an obvious exemption to this rule.  The root word was pederasty or where we get pedophile from, not gay or homosexual. The reason why pedophile was there is because in the Roman culture it was normalized for men to have sex with young boys. It was very usual and customary thing. Something our culture does not do at all obviously. The word was changed last century for unknown reasons to homosexuals. In a flash back in 1946, every gay person was a pedophile all of a sudden. Which is a sick and wrong view of gay people, but that’s exactly many view gay people now.

These days, ask any veteran of a recent war about the Middle East and how that exact culture still exists in many areas, yes it is unusual for a boy to get past puberty not having been molested by a man. That is the culture there. That was the culture 20+ centuries ago and has not changed.

That is the context of what Paul wrote about Romans, Corinth, etc. And likewise in the Old Testament that is the culture was that was there a thousand years before Christ ever walked on earth.  Given that we can see this culture 20+ centuries later, there’s no excuse for pastors and preachers to be preaching false, graceless interpretations of God’s Word.

God doesn’t give a crap about gay marriage, or any of that. He cares about human hearts. He cares about young boys being molested by men (Romans 1:27), he cares about young girls being also molested by church leaders and men and even older women of course. That’s why it’s in the Bible. We are to protect the children.

I wish people would read the Bible it in the proper context, not just the context of King James and newer.

Jesus came to free us from the system we are in, not put us in another one.

Tragically, they’ll preach this false doctrine of legalism from the pulpit anyway.  They will claim an evil agenda is out to devour people and make them gay. They’ll insist and thus continue blabbering on and on about how bad being gay is, while the few young gay kids in attendance at their services are inching towards deeper depression and suicide attempts because they are shamed into not talking about who they really are.  And this is OK with you because you believe “God can heal you of your sin of being gay!” Which doesn’t happen. How quickly they have forgotten Exodus International.

To these closed-hearted preachers and pastors, the death of an LGBT kid is greater than having an LGBT person in your congregation. The proof: there is no celebration of a gay person’s passing in one of these churches.

The third leg of their personal trinity is politics.  By aligning themselves with a political movement, they now have power nationally to continue their proven-false views of scripture, all while hurting others in the process.  They can look at other preachers down the street pointing to Romans 1:27 as “truth” and yell it from their pulpits in confidence they are “right” and any other viewpoint is “wrong”.  Thus, they set themselves up as the “humble voices for God in a rotting culture”.  Ugggh!

See, they are right and you are wrong!  Trust in them, they have all the answers!

Not happening.

It would be laughable if so many people weren’t so emotionally hurt by their off-base finite views being sold as truth.

This Toxic Trinity is like a modern day plague, young whipper-snappers flying out of Seminary school ready to take on Satan in the world, fired up for the Lord but must follow the corporate line of their denomination. By the time they are in their early 40’s they are worn down, they don’t believe in all the legalistic, denominational junk they were taught in school as real life and God Himself has proven to them that much of the other two legs of their Toxic Trinity is worthless.

Those that still find value in the two worthless legs of their Toxic Trinity continue on their Jaded Jesus Journey from the pulpit and the ballot box using fear in their congregations against LGBT folks at any cost.

The economy? Not as important as keeping gay people from marrying.

Abortion?  Not as important as keeping transgender people out of bathrooms.

National security? Not as important as making sure disastrous conversion therapy is law.

Keeping government small?  Not as important as being vindictive to political opponents.

I’m convinced a majority of Christian preachers and pastors do not know the true, non-filtered, Bible themselves in regards to these key issues of our time. They only know the legalistic interpretations that match the political power grab of 2016. The plaque on their office wall showing their doctorate degree in theology is more important than loving people like Jesus did. And true interpretation of God’s Word and loving others is cut off in the name of politics and being “right” about the issues of our time. Mix all this with politics and we now have the Toxic Trinity owning a plank of the GOP.

The real moral decay is happening in the selling out of the Republican party to a powerful faction of the GOP of those who claim to be “right”.

The one person who is “right”?  History is showing us that his name is Barry Goldwater.


Dear Christian, you’re offended at a flag but not offended at all the killings around you?

Dear offended Christian,

You are again easily offended by something else someone else is doing. This time, your county raised the rainbow flag in honor of the massacre victims in your state.  You called it a “divisive, politically-charged symbol”.  That this rainbow flag “might create an uncomfortable workplace environment for many of his employees”. And “the presence of the flag was “nearly unbearable” for her to pass on her way to work”.

A flag honoring dozens dead in your state is unbearable?  You have a rough life.

this article:
LGBT pride flag raised after Orlando shooting ‘unbearable’ for Christian employee, Hillsborough commissioner says

Jesus died on the cross for all of us.  All. Romans chapters 2 thru 5 outline this in no uncertain detail.  There is no asterisk next to the all that says that Christians who believe in Him are saved.You are placing an asterisk next to the all in those chapters in Romans. You are saying that the LGBT people who are dead in this tragedy are against your “strong Christian beliefs” and that they are not worthy of your respect even as fellow American citizens in this time of mourning.

What I find uncomfortable is these people’s lack of caring for dead fellow Americans. No respect for them in life nor death, no honor, no caring….no love.

Only thinking of your poor self as you get to walk past that flag on your way to work in the morning.

You have a rough life.

You do realize they’re dead, right?  They can’t walk past any flags at all anymore. They’re not even breathing.

You realize they’re dead, right?  They can’t attend church anymore, go home for Thanksgiving, kiss their kids goodnight nor visit their parents anymore.

You realize they’re dead, right?  Or do you even care?

Well, it’s good that you don’t care too much about them.  I mean, why bother with the icky LGBT folks because they are all going to hell anyway!

Whew! What a relief this must be for you!  It’s a good thing for you is that they are indeed dead and gone.  Well almost gone, just that “Pride” flag that is soooo annoying to you.

You have a rough life indeed.

They no longer have to bother you in your life anymore. Just let this flag issue blow over and you’re home free not to have to worry about pride flags, dozens dead and wounded and thousands of other innocent deaths as well. Your “strong Christian beliefs” allow you to push aside all these pesky LBGT deaths so you can walk into your workplace each morning without being bothered by these heathen sinners.

Wait, thousands of other innocent deaths?  What ‘other deaths’? I’m sure you’re just as adamant at all the abortions taking place in your county. I’m sure you are equally as vocal about the thousands of aborted babies in your area every year. I’m sure you worked with your superiors to complain about the lack of caring for the most innocent among us, the babies in the womb. I’m sure you took it upon yourself to see that this societal ill is cured.

Of course you didn’t.

But those unborn babies?  Yes, they’re dead too, you don’t have to worry about them anymore.  You can go on your way and enjoy your life while all these innocent lives are dead…innocent lives that were killed in the womb, and innocent lives that were killed in a night club.  You can walk past that flag remembering it’s “just another” 49 dead that you turn a blind eye to. After all, what’s another 49 dead when you’ve ignored countless thousands of innocent babies killed in the womb?

Don’t worry, they’re all dead.  They won’t bother you nor your “strong Christian beliefs” anymore.