The Numbers Don’t Lie

When I first started this journey, my Testosterone (T) and Estrogen (E) levels were checked in Sept 2014 before I started hormone replacement therapy. The results:

The E level was no surprise as my body doesn’t naturally produce E in any usable quantity, but the T level was indeed an eye-opener. It was far below most statistical norms. Look at the left-most column in the attached chart for one who is 43. I wasn’t even at the 5th percentile.

Typical T level in males

All those years of emotional pain with so little T in my system!

Internally, I couldn’t imagine the testosterone-induced depressive hell I endured for 4 decades could have been any worse. But what if I decided to try T shots to help with the usual issues of getting older? That’s the manly thing to do, right?  That means, what if T was actually in the ‘normal’ range? How much worse would the depressive hell have been back then? T wasn’t the solution, it was the enemy.

I shudder to think it could have been any worse than it was. But adding T to bring it into the mid-range, 400-600 would have been emotional disaster. Even the thought of being 2x-3x more of a depressed alcoholic because of T injections makes me cry. It was terrible enough. I’m glad I didn’t go this route, not even for a single T shot.

My last hormone test recently, the results:
The numbers reversal is crucial…the depression and all the other muck disappeared with the introduction of E into my bloodstream. The numbers don’t lie. I am healthy and thriving!

I am thankful for advances in science because my lifelong depression is gone forever due to using estrogen. Truly a benefit to living in the 20th and 21st centuries in this country. However, many consider this evil and part of some “LGBT agenda”. I’m part of no agenda, don’t lump me in with one either, I’m me. The facts are clear, as a result of hormones and gender transition I’m alive without depression and thriving without needing a bottle of vodka.

So why are people so against trans people using cross-sex hormone therapy when it is the cure to lifelong depression, anxiety, and emotional numbness? 

Russell Moore, a higher-up of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) wrote a dissertation in 2009 “John or Joan”, in which he clearly tells the possible member in his church John, who is transitioning to Joan, to stop hormones. When I read that, my jaw dropped. I can’t fathom someone who knows so little about this subject yet commands so much power in this organization, could negatively affect so many sitting in their pews every Sunday. He is affecting the hiding transgender people in those churches in substantially painful ways, driving them further into depression and too often with substance abuse.

Why then, would influential Mr Moore require someone to stop the very thing that is curing their ailment? Do we take away the medical inhaler from the asthma patient? Are we to remove the wheelchair from the handicapped person? Do we take away the pace maker from the patient with a weak heart? …all because we assert that God doesn’t make mistakes?  Do we then claim the heart patient, asthma sufferer, handicapped person, and transgender individual are all confused about their physical condition? Are they all delusional?

No, of course not. But the church at large insists on treating transgender people as if we don’t know anything about our situation, thus insistig trans folks are confused and delusional. They make the assumption that something early in our youth steered us the wrong way. Such as us seeing an X rated movie or porn magazine when we were around 11 years old and that perverted image stuck in our head, driving us to live life as the opposite gender. Of course it didn’t, but they believe this false theory.

Did the handicapped person see someone in a wheelchair then say to themselves subconsciously “I want to live a life of hardship, I am handicapped!”  No. This is absurd. 

Did the heart patient have an obsession with clocks when they were younger causing them to want a pace-maker?  Of course not.

Did the asthma sufferer purposely try to smoke mom or dad’s cigarettes when they were very young, causing them the delusion that are asthmatics later in life?  No, that’s silly.

But then, why do powerful leaders insist that transgender people are confused and delusional when they approach this subject?  I think it’s because it’s what has been handed down to our culture in preceding generations. Looking back at the church’s history, people afflicted with ALS were considered demonically possessed, but until science figured out they’re not, the church kept praying over them, commanding non-existent demonic spirits to leave their withering bodies. And when these non-existent spirits didn’t leave and the ALS sufferer didn’t get better, they sent them to insane asylums. Yet the church at large still considers transgender people outcasts and filled with demonic spirits and insists on sending us away from the very thing that transforms us to the better: gender transition.

Right in front of us is proof that refutes Mr Moore’s demand that trans people need to stop hormone treatments: replace the T with E in male-to-female transgender people and in virtually every trans person the depression clears up.

We are not delusional, the numbers don’t lie. We are not an agenda, we are not your political nor spiritual enemy, we are humans made by God, just like anyone else.

The ones who are confused and delusional are the ones who know little to nothing about this subject. They cite bloggers such as schizophrenic Walt Heyer time and again as gospel against being trans even though he was misdiagnosed decades ago. He was never transgender, read his back story. Then these leaders angrily insist they know the “right” answer, the “Godly way”, which is neither right nor Godly.  Their way inflicts intense pain that, like ALS patients, never gets prayed away. Their way has one purpose: to make people conform to a role they are comfortable with in their presence. Yes, they are playing God. The god of their finite knowledge, but a god nonetheless.

In God’s presence, He loves all his children, he doesn’t tell them to conform to a system. He asks them to open their hearts to Him, to his son Jesus, no matter how one looks. It really is that simple.

Russell Moore, Michael Brown, Franklin Graham, et al…your advice to transgender people has been proven wrong time after time. Your stance is on the wrong side of salvation and the wrong side of truth. The numbers in my hormone tests don’t lie. When will YOU repent for misleading your followers spiritually and politically in regards to transgender people?




Russell Moore’s “John or Joan?”

The dream of being on top of the wedding cake

Imagine being a guy walking through life where you see the man and woman figurines on top of a wedding cake, but don’t relate to the scene.  Something deep inside simply doesn’t register.  It’s not that as a guy, you’re not seeing the details, it’s something else, something deeper you haven’t discovered.

Then when you do discover it, that you’re transgender, it makes sense; you only identify with being the woman in the dress figurine on top of that wedding cake.

But, there’s something deeper to this reality that no one talks about, it’s being somewhere in the middle. Often times being transgender means not being either fully male or fully female.  Whether we think it, feel it, or look it, we don’t fit…our hearts often feel this deep, awful tug, but we refuse to talk about it. Moving forward even with this pain is key. Keep moving forward, the pain will go away.

But will it? Depressing is that sinking, painful feeling you get when you realize you’re not on the cake, and you don’t have a chance to ever truly be one of those figurines.  Why? All one has to do is put on a tux or a dress!  No, it’s not that simple. The façade of fitting-in is never enough. (That feeling that “all is right with his life” is a façade. But he doesn’t know any better at the time.)

When girls are little, they dream of finding the right guy for their wedding day.  He will be wearing the tux, her in the dress. Or if she’s gay, and finding the right girl to either wear the tux or the dress on her big day.

As a guy, well, guys don’t think of these things until around the wedding day when he’s proud to see the figurines on top of the cake, he’s in the tux and she’s in the dress, as it should be!  This makes society happy, this makes the guy feel like all is right with the world and his life.

(This breaks the golden rule about shame: never should on yourself and never should on others).

But what if one is transgender? They don’t fit into either scenario. They can’t be on the cake by society’s definition.

He was me.  I wore the tux, did all the right things, played by all the rules, it was a fun and most memorable day! But as I look back now, I was never on top of the cake…I was never truly male and never truly female. However, I could not see this until the last couple years.

And that’s where the painful black hole exists, those that are transgender are never dreamed of, there’s no place for them on the wedding cake. No little girl or little boy grows up with grande dreams of marrying a transgender person, ever.  No little boys are trained to think of how beautiful his transgender bride will be!  No little girl wonders in happy awestruck fervor that she will marry a handsome transgender man or woman. The cold reality is this NEVER happens. No one EVER dreams of us.

There’s no place for us on this figurative wedding cake of life. We have to make a place. We have to look into the hearts of others and ask that we be accepted for who we are. We have to go the extra mile to be more emotionally open than others, that people can see deeply in our hearts even when others hearts are not open to such transparency, so we can show the world we are decent neighbors. We have to continually work against knowing that we’re not accepted in society yet ask others we trust to “go to bat” for us, which can possibly cause them personal social issues with their peer groups. We swim upstream daily against deeply embedded yet false notions that we are delusional, confused, and being led by demonic spirits. We can barely see being on top of any wedding cake with so many life issues being tossed our way. We rely on those who know us for support, for love, for being the backbone of our existence and to help change the current.

Those who know us, know love, they know how to give love and how to receive love.

It takes the love of others to bridge the painful emotional gap between not being on the cake and having a chance one day to actually be there. It takes love to go beyond the usual understandings to see that a transgender human is a human with a soul, that has feelings, dreams, aspirations, isn’t an abomination but rather a treasure to God and man.  It takes love to accept someone different.

It takes love to bridge the gap.

It takes love. The Jesus kind of love that gives but doesn’t ask for anything in return. The kind of love from others that takes away the pain of being different, including being transgender.

Maybe the mind’s eye vision of being on the wedding cake isn’t proper adolescent dream after all…but rather finding those who love like Jesus is really what it’s all about.

If you are LGBT, you are the cause of 9/11 and America’s moral decline

Dear LGBT person, make no mistake about it, you are the reason for the downfall of the United States of America.

You chose your lifestyle against God. You insisted on sinning. You were kicked out of your church because you would not obey leadership. You are the apostate. Yes you perverted transgender person, you disgusting gay person, you are the cause of the cultural rot in out once-great society.

When you would come to our gatherings you insisted on bringing your perversion with you, your “partner”.  Or when you, a man made by God, arrive at church in a dress, you are abhorrent to Him! These only prove that you are a disgusting person, we tried to change you to a God standard is but you wouldn’t listen. Your neck became stiff to our reproach, your ears were tickled with only what you wanted to hear.

Even the best preachers and prophets among us can see American’s downfall is contained in LGBT lifestyles.
Anne Graham Lotz, daughter of Billy Graham, tells us that gay and transgender people are the reason why 9/11 occurred.

And Rick Santorum likens the fight against this perversion to 9/11

You are disgusting people. You’re worthless to His church, you have chosen the liberal agenda of Satan, your destiny is to be cast into the Lake of Fire. You have not obeyed the systems we have. We told you the truth, you argued with us that we were wrong. How dear you argue with us that we are wrong?.You are worthless and weak. We will not see you in heaven.

Oh and by the way we still love you, you can come back anytime you want. The doors open as long as you leave your sin somewhere else. But don’t come back with any sin, God detests sin and abominations such as yourselves.

Do not look at the sins of your pastors, only look at your own sins. This is how God wants it. If you do not obey we will cast you out and He will send you to the Lake of Fire.

It is you and your sins and have brought down this nation, not your pastor and his sins. Look away when your pastor rapes young children, you are not to judge (and then blame it on gay men that have never touched anybody inappropriately):
Former Alabama youth pastor was ‘cool’ with meeting 14-year-old boy for sex, police say

Georgia pastor arrested for raping 10-year-old girl at homeless shelter he founded

Youth Pastor Rapes Teen Girl And Church Demands She Apologize To Her Rapist’s Wife

Father Of ‘The Willis Clan’ Arrested On Child Rape Charge

Police say Indiana pastor facing sex with a minor charge killed himself

Columbia, TN pastor charged with rape of mentally disabled teen

Pastor that tweeted that Orlando Pulse homosexuals got ‘what they deserve’ arrested for child molestation

Pensacola, FL area pastor, 21 others arrested in child sex sting

Pay no attention at those stories, just look at your own sins! Do not judge a pastor for sinning, he is fighting for your rights that are being eroded by the nasty LGBT agenda.

Why are you poor? You are poor because you chose the transgender lifestyle, you have chosen your sin so now you must reap what you have sown. But look away when the preacher demands that you tithe your 10% so that he can live in comfort.  For his comfort is proof that he is right and you were wrong. If you only loved yourself as much as your preacher loved you…you can live in such comfort!
Why Franklin Graham’s salary raises eyebrows among Christian nonprofits

You, you delusional man! How dare you call yourself a woman! God made you a man, don’t question God or any pastors doing God’s work! But look away as I demand everyone tithe 10% of their pre-tax income when I write off this brand-new airplane as the church expense.
Kenneth Copeland, Jesse Duplantis, defending their private jets

How dare you say the Word of God isn’t innerrant?  It is made by God and your pastor’s interpretation is the only correct interpretation of God’s Word. Look away at the fact that the innerancy decree didn’t happen as the bible was written. No, it was made via fiat in 1978:
Chicago Statement on Biblical Inerrancy

All Bibles Have Been Altered! Nothing Is Real Anymore!? Mandela Effect

And look away at the fact that denominations changed words that completely change the meaning of texts that directly affect our culture and have created culture wars:
The word “Homosexuality” placed into bible in 1946
Last Minute Edit to ESV changes meaning of Genesis 3

You grotesque sinners! So not enter into church unless you leave your sin on the outside. God’s house will not be defiled with sinners. But look away as a project my anger want to crowd, control them, and do what Jesus would never do…instill fear into hearts of others to control them.
Priest admits Religion is used to create fear for control

How dare delusional transgender men enter into bathrooms of women? But look away when the pastor rapes several children in his church.
“My pastor was my rapist.”

The purity movement is a wonderful blessing of God! God’s design is for marital sex only. Look away at the facts and figures that show how states that teach abstinence-only programs have the highest teen pregnancy rates in the nation.
Teen Pregnancies Highest In States With Abstinence-Only Policies

The perverted LGBT agenda stole the rainbow from God, He created it. You perverse generation this is! But look away when the preacher subscribes to adult porn sites. Don’t blame him, a preacher job is tough and he needs a break.
Here’s How 770 Pastors Describe Their Struggle with Porn

You heathen LGBT people believe in separation of church and state, real Christians do not separate God’s church from the rule of law. True Christians believe God’s rules over everyone and we believe that all laws need to be of God’s laws to maintain moral integrity. Do not judge Christian lawmakers, they are doing God’s work:
Indiana GOP’s House Leader resigns after texting sexually explicit video of himself cheating on wife to everyone on his “Contacts” list

Antigay Nebraska Republican urged to resign over sex video of himself on state computer

GOP Mayor Arrested For Recording Teens Playing Strip Poker In His Bedroom [VIDEO]

Jeremy Durham, Tennessee Lawmaker Was Sexually Inappropriate With 22 Women

As you can see God is being kicked out of schools, churches are told we can’t worship and must accept evil LGBT people.  9/11 was obviously caused by the LGBT lifestyles corrupting our kids.  In this 2016 election, we must vote for Trump/Pence! They are our only hope for saving this nation!  Even Mike Pence is exposing that LGBT is our immoral enemy and not to hire them!

Pastors everywhere must fight to keep our rights! 

…And their airplanes, and their political power, and their use of fear to control their flock…

Dear reader, as you can tell, this article was written from the angle of the spirit-less church in America, where politics and conformity reign supreme. But this isn’t what God had in mind, not by a long shot.

The fall of America is the church at large replacing God with it’s knowledge of good and evil, which is exactly what humanity was told not to partake of in the Garden of Eden.

Stiff-necked pastor-preachers: YOU have made an idol of knowledge while treating the “least of these” with contempt and downright hatred.  Don’t complain when there’s hate aimed back in your direction. There’s a LOT of pain YOU have inflicted.  YOU have caused many to reject church and God.  YOU are the problem, not the solution.

YOU and your systems are the reason why God isn’t allowed in our country any longer. YOU attempt to control what God looks like and how His spirit works, diluting it to legalism, guilt and shame for the sake of control. YOU only want your ears tickled with legalism. If someone offers pure Grace, it is dismissed as apostate, abhorrent.

This is not how God works.  This is how state run religion works.

It’s time for all these toxic preacher-teachers-mixed-with-politics to step aside and let God take control of His house.  Finally.

Questions a staunch evangelical would ask Jesus about his time with the “least of these”

These are questions I sense a staunch modern-day evangelical church goer would ask Jesus after he had dinner and hung out with the outcasts of society.

Dear Jesus, when you had dinner with the lepers, the tax collectors and the homeless, what did you do?

Did you say a proper prayer and fold your hands before dinner?…did everyone follow you on prayer like they’re supposed to?

Did you hear people say bad swear words at the dinner table? Did you look at them in a scornful way to make sure they knew they should never have said those words? If they take your Father’s name in vain, did you reprimand them immediately?

You knew all their sins they committed in their entire lives. Did you call them out on their unconfessed sins?

Did you tell the woman who is cheating on her husband that she’s going to hell if she did not obey and repent?

Did you tell the tax collector to give money back that he stole?

Did you tell the married women to be submissive to their husbands?

Did you tell the older men to stop having sex with underage young men? After all that was an accepted cultural practice in Rome and other places.

If anyone burped, did you say to them “excuse you”.

If someone sneezed did you say “God bless you”?

Did you tell the gay people that they had to turn from their lifestyle otherwise they would be going to hell? If they did not turn from their sinful lifestyle, did you send them out of the dinner meeting away from your presence like we do in our church?

Did you tell the eunuch that one cannot be transgender and Christian? Did you demand they stop their herbal hormone supplements? Did you tell them it’s just a phase? Did you cast the demons out of them?

Did you make sure to let the women do the work cleaning up the table and the dishes after dinner?

Did you make sure the kids only spoke if spoken to first?

Did you bother healing anyone if they do not tithe to their church?

Did you leave a tip of half a fake $20 bill along with  a prayer card?

When you went to the public restroom, did you inspect the eunuch’s private parts to make sure their genitals match the proper bathroom?

When you ate with the homeless veteran, did you share Bible verses with him and tell him “you just need more faith”?

When you went to the market, did you demand a discount for your evening’s food because you knew the owner and he’s Christian?

After dinner, did you have a Bible study, but only using the original KJV?

The American church has a huge problem, lack of honesty.

Definition of honest: free of deceit and untruthfulness; sincere.

Therein exists the problem of a large percentage of church congregations across our land.

The American church at large would rather that gay or transgender people never be honest about themselves so they would never come out. That it would be better if they continue to be dishonest about who they are, hide it away from the rest of the congregation.

If the church allowed them to be honest that means many people might leave their church, thus the tithing would go down. Losing money is not tolerable.

It’s better to keep people in a painful, dishonest state so the church can keep the money flowing in. This is not WWJD. But that’s what you demand.

The bible did not contain the word “homosexuality” until 1946. Changing the meanings of words in the bible is not allowed of course, except for you.  You’re special evidently. All so you can keep your dishonest campaign against gay people going full steam ahead.

The original word in Romans 1:27 was pederasty, where we get the word pedophile. Homosexuality does not mean pedophile. But to your dishonest and deceitful teaching to your flock, it does. Preachers are not diving into the history of the sacred text, instead they lazily take the English versions at face value and continue the cultural demonization of gay and transgender people. So people leave your services thinking that gay people are the same as pedophiles and parrot your words as if you knew the only anointed view of God Almighty.

After all, you were the ones who possess the theology degrees, the shiny plaques proudly on display in your offices, so you ought to know the Bible better than anyone. Including the radically changed verses in the 20th century. After all, people go to you as an authority for all things, so whatever you say goes, including whatever the political winds of the day happen to be. Yet you know darn well Jesus never played into any of those political winds in his time, so why are you?

Preaching corrupted gospel to keep the flames of the faux culture wars raging makes you feel good, makes you feel patriotic, makes you feel like you’re exercising that doctorate degree in theology with great aplomb.

You kick out gay and transgender folks out of your churches because to you it’s the right thing to do. Your theology school crony feel the same. They understand the same corrupted gospel regarding gay and trans people as you. It makes you feel safe alongside your peers who have the same theology degrees on the walls to show them the door. No pressure for you to have your social circles challenged if you kick out those Jesus would spend time with.

Really, kicking them out of your congregation is more for your comfort than for the heart and soul of the person you’re telling to “leave now, you’re no longer welcome here”.  That is, if you actually tell them. Often times, the pastor instructs subordinates to do his dirty work.  How convenient.

But what about the hurting, needing soul you just kicked out?  Irrelevant to you as you shun it off as “they need to stop their sin”.  Again, not WWJD.

During your coffee times together with your preacher cronies you tell about how you “had to kick out a delusional man (trans woman) from the church” because “he did not turn from his sinful ways”. That sells in your voting-for-Trump-after-you-said-you-would-NEVER-vote-for-Trump-circles, but it’s dishonest, Jesus would never do this. It’s on the wrong side of salvation, its on the wrong side of Jesus’ love and it’s on the wrong side of history. But you continue anyway thinking you are doing God’s work.

You’re not.

You are the ones kicking gay and trans gender people out of your churches, not Jesus. Jesus sat down and spent time with them, you’re not.  You’re kicking them to the curb so you don’t have to sup with these “vile sinners” any longer.

You’re doing the work to make yourself be comfortable in your system and your social circles. It’s all about you. That’s horribly dishonest to the hurting person you released from your church.

And God forbid they were part of your small groups. They would be put on the hot seat and told they would have to “give up their sin because they were going to hell”. They would be prayed over many times even though they can never change. Because you can’t change a gay or transgender person.

God’s business is changing hearts, not biology. You’ve made your business to make people conform to your view of God’s text.  Again, dishonest to the very purpose of Jesus’ church.

You refuse to listen to their hearts, only judge them by their willingness to conform or be cast out of your country club Sunday gathering. That’s dishonest of you in light of your mission to be a representative of Jesus as Jesus always placed the heart of the person before anything else. But you don’t with their hearts. You reject them instead.

You reject them when they needed you most. Exactly the opposite of what Jesus would do.

So as you stand in front of your Sunday morning meetings and Wednesday night Bible studies preaching falsely about gay and transgender people, berating them as following an agenda and telling your congregation if they don’t “give up their lifestyle”, remember you are being highly dishonest. You are using them as political pawns in a chess game you have never been asked to be the King or Queen of.

The only agenda that is being followed is that of the church’s dishonesty with handling situations of gay and transgender people sitting in it’s chairs. “Conform to our demands or be cast out” is not Jesus’ way, but it’s the way of so very many church institutions.

You’re doing exactly the opposite of Jesus would do. He placed loving them in front of the system-based conformity.

I must ask preacher, why is your dishonest system of demand conformity so much better than the grace covenant of Jesus?

And you wonder why fewer people are attending your services every year, you are not free of deceit and untruthfulness. 

Setting up an iPhone leads to a tragic discovery

Yesterday I setup a used iPhone to make sure it all works properly. I tested things by opening up the Podcast app, which syncs podcasts across Apple devices, and within seconds I hear “Hi, I’m Debi Jackson…”.

I quizzically looked at the phone and asked myself as if I was in some sort of Rod Serling “Twilight Zone” episode: Why is Debi talking to me? I had to do a triple take.

After a couple seconds of pondering if I was indeed in a “Twilight Zone”, it occurred to me…”Oh yeah!”, it finally clicked in my brain, “her podcast was the most recent, so the Podcast app downloaded and started playing it”.

Whew! Well that was a bit surreal. Rod Serling wasn’t there either 🙂

But contained inside Debi’s latest podcast, Episode 7 How to Create a Trans-Inclusive School, was a depressing statistic: in trans youth in a non-supported environment report a 80% suicide ideation rate, and a 57% suicide attempt rate.

Conversely, trans youth in a supported environment? 4% suicide ideation rate.

57% vs 4%

If there is one statistic that defines the “Us vs. Them” mindset in this country, there it is.

The lesson is clear: support your trans kids.  They will live and thrive.  If you don’t, there’s a greater than 1 in 2 chance they will kill themselves.

The tragedy in the numbers is that the side that claims to be pro-life is the one causing the 57% number to be so high.  Irony?  A bitter one for sure.

Think about that, society at large that falsely believes that trans people are mentally ill teaches us to tell trans kids “they are too young to understand who they are” and society at large tells the kids to “deal with it”. Yeah, they deal with it by ending their lives.

Yes, they try to kill themselves.

The erasing of transgender people is part of the staunch-conservative platform in churches and in the GOP in 2016.  Yes, the GOP. It’s now the official platform of the Republican party.  Far too many religious institutions are the vocal arm for their anti-pro-life work yet they ignore the 57% number in favor of “All you need is Jesus!”

I already have Jesus, but Jesus doesn’t change the brains of transgender people to match your churchy, societal expectations.  Jesus doesn’t cure anyone’s ALS either.  Oh, and Jesus isn’t curing epilepsy.  Nope.

Jesus changes our hearts and minds.

The demand for physical manifestations that conform to church demands for physical appearance don’t happen.  That’s why too many church goers can’t see Jesus working in His people because they expect His works to be familiar to them, to be delivered in vessels of comfort.  He doesn’t work that way.  After all, Jesus was expected to ride into Jerusalem on a golden chariot yet appeared on a lowly donkey.

Tragically, their mind is made up that being transgender is a mental illness thus they won’t let Jesus change it.  Is 57% OK with you?  Would you like that number to continue to be astronomically high?  Then keep pressing for your party’s false platform against LGBT folks.

Tragically for all of us, the GOP no longer the fiscal backbone party of the USA, it’s a party filled with complaining about everything that happens.  Whining like a 3 year-old who can’t have a cookie about a “evil LGBT agenda”, “men using women’s bathrooms” and half-a-century of failed theory has given us “You are mentally disturbed! You need Jesus not hormones!”

The millions echoing statements such as these on social media and real life show that those who believe in these false tenants of the GOP platform have a lot to learn.  They need to be consistent in their views as well.

First off, there is no LGBT agenda, we’re just trying to live without being harassed, without losing our places of residence and without losing our jobs.  And for kids, they’re trying to be the best they can be in the awkward formative school years.  That’s not too much to ask, is it?

If we are to be productive citizens who pay our taxes and promote to the overall economic health of the community, why would you be against us doing these things?  After all, these are core components of economic freedom and prosperity.  Answer this please.  We are waiting.

Also, if people claim to be truly pro-life, why are they so wholly against transgender people? …so much so, they love them all to an early death? Does the staunch right not see the difference between the 57% down to 4% number?  Does that not mean anything to this voting block made mostly of self-proclaimed Christians?  Why do they continue to wish-away trans people in favor of conversion therapy (pray-the-gay-away therapy) that only leads to HIGHER suicide rates?  You need to do your homework here so you can be consistent in your views.  

But alas, their homework stops with the fully discredited Dr Paul McHugh and his failed gender department at John Hopkins University.  They consider his writings as gospel, as the 67th book of the bible, yet he has been proven 100% wrong…the wrong side of history, the wrong of helping people, and the wrong side of God’s salvation.  Completely anti-pro-life as they come, McHugh has brought much pain and suffering to his patients.  A ‘Jack Kevorkian for the mind’ is a more apt description of this man.

Not sure why the staunch right considers themselves pro-life, that is absurd.  They’re really pro-birth, then if others don’t fit your viewpoints, you are pro-eradication of them and their lives.  Again, you need to learn consistency and learn to value life, not just birth.

57% vs 4%

Thank you to Apple for auto-playing Debi’s podcast, it was enlightening to say the least. (Please listen to it, the link below) I just hope some of that light permeates the hearts and minds of those who falsely insist the “evil LGBT agenda” is out to get them.

What’s out to get them is their own lack of knowledge, it’s a weapon that is being used against their own hearts and minds, completely against Jesus.  All in the name of pandering for their votes.

Much of the 2016 GOP and a majority of the plaques that proclaim “doctorate of theology” hanging on the walls of the offices of preachers across this land are choosing to bolster the 57% suicide attempt rate and made a political platform that will bump up that number.

Overall, it’s largely the ones without the doctorate degrees in theology who are making the 4% a reality, and attempting to make it lower.

Clearly it’s the preachers with theology degrees who claim to be staunchly pro-life that are teaching their congregations and politicians to be pro-death.  Oh the irony.




Trans-Parenting Podcast Episode 7: How to Create a Trans-Inclusive School


When Pastors and Preachers Place God Last In Their Personal Trinity, 2016 Is What Happens

A disturbing trend has been happening for quite some time and with the 2016 election season, it has now reached a feverish pitch.  That trend is pastors and preachers putting God dead last in their personal holy trinity.

Oh I know, it’s supposed to be Father, Son, Holy Spirit. The Bible says that, these preachers say that, but that’s not what’s happening in real life.

Interpretation of the bible is their real God at the top of their trinity.  Their understanding of God is finite, yet they claim to know much about topics they never encountered before…such as transgender people.  Or gay Christians.  Rather than diving deep to understand the issue from one of experience and grace, these preachers and pastors filter what they know and the political winds of the day through their own minds.  And whatever verdict they reach is God’s truth.

For example, they have said that living the transgender lifestyle is incompatible with God’s teachings.

Really? Where does it say that in the bible?

It doesn’t.

They quickly point to Deuteronomy 22:5, the “crossdressing” verse, as ample evidence for their finite conclusions to become law over others.

Problem is, that rule was made 3,000 years ago so men wouldn’t dress as women to get out of serving in the theater of battle.  Or for looking for illicit sex by posing as females of the night.  This law has nothing to do with honest hearts and people, aka, transgender people.

Russell Moore of the Southern Baptist Convention wrote a 7 page “John or Joan” article in 2009.  Sadly it was highly influential on SBC churches on how to handle transgender people when they come out: make them stop taking hormones, show them that God’s “real plan” for John was really John all along and that through prayer and repentance, God can make John a whole John again!

This article Russ pens shows how woefully out of touch he is with the reality of trans folks.  Transgender people have amazing results with hormones clearing up lifelong depression, anxiety, emotional numbness, etc.  According to Mr Moore’s plan, he insists that John’s hormones be immediately stopped so that the person reverts back to their depressed, anxiety-ridden state of being where he consumes mass quantities of alcohol to kill the pain.  This only shows how Moore doesn’t understand the transgender condition whatsoever.  But those in such churches, they insist that God only made man or woman (Genesis 1:27).  No, read that again, God made man AND woman.  And with the trillions of transactions that happen in the womb, often times things don’t go as you expect them to turn out. This is a system (the SBC) placing it’s views and replacing God’s views on the subject.  SBC, you’re not God.

What Mr. Moore fails to understand is what we have told you all along, we are different.  No document you create will change the biology in our brains.

No amount of prayer fixes transgender people.


Not even prayers or burnt sacrifices offered to God by Dr. Paul McHugh himself will cure a single transgender person.

Self-acceptance is what saves us from the suicide attempts.  Having community that loves us and wants to see us flourish is the other key factor.  Since you insist on taking away the hormones that help us tremendously and take away the community of church from us as most times we are kicked to the curb as you and all the pastors downstream insist trans people change or get out of their churches, you offer us no other choice: go out into the world alone and emotionally broken.

The exact opposite of what Jesus would have done.

You see, “living the transgender lifestyle”, as you say, isn’t incompatible with God’s teachings.  No, your Pharisee, separatist, closed-hearted ways are incompatible with the saving grace of Jesus Christ. He saves us no matter what we look like.

Then, the topic will change and will insist, that gay people cannot enter into heaven unless they stop being gay.  God can and will deliver them from being homosexual!

This too…really?  Where in the bible does it say that?

They reply: It’s in 1 Corinthians 6:9 and Romans 1:27, it clearly states that the Lord sayeth that homosexuals can’t entereth the kingdom of God!

It doesn’t. Again.

Oh it does in English translations from King James and newer, but a more involved study of this topic when looking at the original words of the bible and cultures that the author Paul was looking at paint an entirely different picture…

In the first chapter of Romans the word homosexuality was never there until 1946. We are taught to never change words of the bible but for this word, it was given an obvious exemption to this rule.  The root word was pederasty or where we get pedophile from, not gay or homosexual. The reason why pedophile was there is because in the Roman culture it was normalized for men to have sex with young boys. It was very usual and customary thing. Something our culture does not do at all obviously. The word was changed last century for unknown reasons to homosexuals. In a flash back in 1946, every gay person was a pedophile all of a sudden. Which is a sick and wrong view of gay people, but that’s exactly many view gay people now.

These days, ask any veteran of a recent war about the Middle East and how that exact culture still exists in many areas, yes it is unusual for a boy to get past puberty not having been molested by a man. That is the culture there. That was the culture 20+ centuries ago and has not changed.

That is the context of what Paul wrote about Romans, Corinth, etc. And likewise in the Old Testament that is the culture was that was there a thousand years before Christ ever walked on earth.  Given that we can see this culture 20+ centuries later, there’s no excuse for pastors and preachers to be preaching false, graceless interpretations of God’s Word.

God doesn’t give a crap about gay marriage, or any of that. He cares about human hearts. He cares about young boys being molested by men (Romans 1:27), he cares about young girls being also molested by church leaders and men and even older women of course. That’s why it’s in the Bible. We are to protect the children.

I wish people would read the Bible it in the proper context, not just the context of King James and newer.

Jesus came to free us from the system we are in, not put us in another one.

Tragically, they’ll preach this false doctrine of legalism from the pulpit anyway.  They will claim an evil agenda is out to devour people and make them gay. They’ll insist and thus continue blabbering on and on about how bad being gay is, while the few young gay kids in attendance at their services are inching towards deeper depression and suicide attempts because they are shamed into not talking about who they really are.  And this is OK with you because you believe “God can heal you of your sin of being gay!” Which doesn’t happen. How quickly they have forgotten Exodus International.

To these closed-hearted preachers and pastors, the death of an LGBT kid is greater than having an LGBT person in your congregation. The proof: there is no celebration of a gay person’s passing in one of these churches.

The third leg of their personal trinity is politics.  By aligning themselves with a political movement, they now have power nationally to continue their proven-false views of scripture, all while hurting others in the process.  They can look at other preachers down the street pointing to Romans 1:27 as “truth” and yell it from their pulpits in confidence they are “right” and any other viewpoint is “wrong”.  Thus, they set themselves up as the “humble voices for God in a rotting culture”.  Ugggh!

See, they are right and you are wrong!  Trust in them, they have all the answers!

Not happening.

It would be laughable if so many people weren’t so emotionally hurt by their off-base finite views being sold as truth.

This Toxic Trinity is like a modern day plague, young whipper-snappers flying out of Seminary school ready to take on Satan in the world, fired up for the Lord but must follow the corporate line of their denomination. By the time they are in their early 40’s they are worn down, they don’t believe in all the legalistic, denominational junk they were taught in school as real life and God Himself has proven to them that much of the other two legs of their Toxic Trinity is worthless.

Those that still find value in the two worthless legs of their Toxic Trinity continue on their Jaded Jesus Journey from the pulpit and the ballot box using fear in their congregations against LGBT folks at any cost.

The economy? Not as important as keeping gay people from marrying.

Abortion?  Not as important as keeping transgender people out of bathrooms.

National security? Not as important as making sure disastrous conversion therapy is law.

Keeping government small?  Not as important as being vindictive to political opponents.

I’m convinced a majority of Christian preachers and pastors do not know the true, non-filtered, Bible themselves in regards to these key issues of our time. They only know the legalistic interpretations that match the political power grab of 2016. The plaque on their office wall showing their doctorate degree in theology is more important than loving people like Jesus did. And true interpretation of God’s Word and loving others is cut off in the name of politics and being “right” about the issues of our time. Mix all this with politics and we now have the Toxic Trinity owning a plank of the GOP.

The real moral decay is happening in the selling out of the Republican party to a powerful faction of the GOP of those who claim to be “right”.

The one person who is “right”?  History is showing us that his name is Barry Goldwater.


Dear Christian, you’re offended at a flag but not offended at all the killings around you?

Dear offended Christian,

You are again easily offended by something else someone else is doing. This time, your county raised the rainbow flag in honor of the massacre victims in your state.  You called it a “divisive, politically-charged symbol”.  That this rainbow flag “might create an uncomfortable workplace environment for many of his employees”. And “the presence of the flag was “nearly unbearable” for her to pass on her way to work”.

A flag honoring dozens dead in your state is unbearable?  You have a rough life.

this article:
LGBT pride flag raised after Orlando shooting ‘unbearable’ for Christian employee, Hillsborough commissioner says

Jesus died on the cross for all of us.  All. Romans chapters 2 thru 5 outline this in no uncertain detail.  There is no asterisk next to the all that says that Christians who believe in Him are saved.You are placing an asterisk next to the all in those chapters in Romans. You are saying that the LGBT people who are dead in this tragedy are against your “strong Christian beliefs” and that they are not worthy of your respect even as fellow American citizens in this time of mourning.

What I find uncomfortable is these people’s lack of caring for dead fellow Americans. No respect for them in life nor death, no honor, no caring….no love.

Only thinking of your poor self as you get to walk past that flag on your way to work in the morning.

You have a rough life.

You do realize they’re dead, right?  They can’t walk past any flags at all anymore. They’re not even breathing.

You realize they’re dead, right?  They can’t attend church anymore, go home for Thanksgiving, kiss their kids goodnight nor visit their parents anymore.

You realize they’re dead, right?  Or do you even care?

Well, it’s good that you don’t care too much about them.  I mean, why bother with the icky LGBT folks because they are all going to hell anyway!

Whew! What a relief this must be for you!  It’s a good thing for you is that they are indeed dead and gone.  Well almost gone, just that “Pride” flag that is soooo annoying to you.

You have a rough life indeed.

They no longer have to bother you in your life anymore. Just let this flag issue blow over and you’re home free not to have to worry about pride flags, dozens dead and wounded and thousands of other innocent deaths as well. Your “strong Christian beliefs” allow you to push aside all these pesky LBGT deaths so you can walk into your workplace each morning without being bothered by these heathen sinners.

Wait, thousands of other innocent deaths?  What ‘other deaths’? I’m sure you’re just as adamant at all the abortions taking place in your county. I’m sure you are equally as vocal about the thousands of aborted babies in your area every year. I’m sure you worked with your superiors to complain about the lack of caring for the most innocent among us, the babies in the womb. I’m sure you took it upon yourself to see that this societal ill is cured.

Of course you didn’t.

But those unborn babies?  Yes, they’re dead too, you don’t have to worry about them anymore.  You can go on your way and enjoy your life while all these innocent lives are dead…innocent lives that were killed in the womb, and innocent lives that were killed in a night club.  You can walk past that flag remembering it’s “just another” 49 dead that you turn a blind eye to. After all, what’s another 49 dead when you’ve ignored countless thousands of innocent babies killed in the womb?

Don’t worry, they’re all dead.  They won’t bother you nor your “strong Christian beliefs” anymore.



Suddenly, there is LGBT equality, but only in death

How does a LGBT Christian engage in conversation with a fellow Christian who is a conservative evangelical that only sees life as valid from their point of view? (I don’t lump all conservative evangelicals into this group, not by a long shot. Thus the understanding that the ones who insist that their way is the only ordained way are the ones I’m referring to here)

It goes a lot like this:

Conservative evangelical: gays are demanding people that constantly demand more rights.

LGBT Christian: we are kicked out of churches and workplaces for being honest about who we are.

Conservative evangelical: you are taking away our religious freedoms!

LGBT Christian: you mean it’s your religious freedom to kick gay people out of your churches and job sites?

Conservative evangelical: thus sayeth the Lord you are abominations into the Lord and are doomed to hell.

LGBT Christian: can you answer my question?

Conservative evangelical: you are infringing on my religious rights!

LGBT Christian: you didn’t answer my question…

Conservative evangelical: we don’t have to answer to your evil LGBT agenda!

Then the Orlando massacre happens…

Conservative evangelical: We will pray for you, this is a massacre of every American, we all are sad at the loss of life and are united together to pray.

LGBT Christian: only now you acknowledge we are equal Americans?…we’re only equal to you in death but not in life? why are you praying for those who you have long insisted LGBT people are going to hell?


So gay and transgender people are only treated equal in death but not in life by many conservatives/evangelical types. It’s so strange to watch this unfold as the sun sets on the first day of watching the TV news and social media sites.

What these anti-LGBT leaders and their followers are doing is unknowingly offering them mercy and grace. The same complete mercy and grace Jesus offered us at the cross if we believe in him. All who believe are saved as outlined in Romans chapters 2 thru chapter 5. Not most, ALL.

Welcome to New Covenant grace, evangelical conservative Christians. We’ve been waiting for you.

Now please treat us equally in life, not just in death.

The Real LGBT Agenda

After more than six years on his Facebook page, Dr. Michael Brown has blocked me from posting there. I’ve asked many substantive questions yet have received zero substantive responses from Mr Brown. Sorry, “read this link” or “buy my book” isn’t considered substantive for a discussion.

Just look at Dr. Michael Brown’s Facebook page (“AskDrBrown”) on any given day lately. His near daily rants about trans people, gay people, the “nasty LGBT agenda”…but yet I don’t see people coming to Christ through any of his Facebook page posts. It’s all hot air blather. Read the comments section on any of his posts…vile, misguided hatred masquerading as truth only ostracizes people even further from solid discussion.

During the course of conversations there I would often preface my position on an issue as a “Christian transgender woman”.  And of course many followers of his there would come back and say that’s not possible. Shouting at me cherry picked Bible verses to allegedly prove their point. What they did prove instead, was how good they were at cutting and pasting irrelevant bible verses to a discussion.

Just yesterday, he posted yet another anti-LGBT piece, one of several this past week, this time a poem.  Here is a portion:

Lesbian greats long neglected
Well known gays just now detected.

Some, perhaps, were man-boy lovers;
We’ll keep that stuff under the covers.

GLSEN* will fill in for Granny
And help kids find their inner-trannie.

Those born in a body that’s wrong
Will hear of sex-change before long.

The rest of his poem is here. Click if you dare allow your blood rise to a full boiling point, read the rest of his anti-LGBT ‘poetry’ at this link.  Copy and paste this link, I refuse to directly link it from this page:

Pius drivel like this is why people don’t want to go back to church. He is constantly barraging LGBT people as if we are his personal political and religious piñata. The same goes for other people such as Franklin Graham, Southern Baptist convention higher up Russell Moore, the Benham family, John Piper, etc. Read their diatribes on LGBT folks…filled with legalism but void of true love. Yet they claim they are “being loving” by telling us the “truth”.

Umm, no. That’s not how it works.  That’s not how the red words work. That’s not how Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross works.

People like those preacher men make it very hard to not just preach the true gospel, but to actually live it and show it. When those that do show the true gospel from the heart meets someone who’s doctrine is from these men and their institutions, they are put down by this camp as being “too grace like and not enough law”. They demand the results must look like and feel like what they consider to be proper Gospel.

As if the theological doctorate certificates hanging on the wall of these men wall one-up God’s Spirit at anytime.

Proper gospel is what comes from the heart and is a result of God flowing inside of someone’s soul. That’s the “love one another” part of things. That’s how the Holy Spirit moves mightily!

But His Spirit cannot move when men insist it must look like, and must fit into, a certain way of thinking or being. Such as what those aforementioned men and their systems consider only what’s proper in their finite eyes.

Yet these stalwarts of church piety keep talking down to the LGBT folks. And they are losing them in droves.  Creating the “us vs them” LGBT agenda, as they say, that they love to talk about and claim to be constant victim of at every turn.  They consider themselves to be “right” on doctrinal interpretation.  All while shunning the hearts of LGBT believers who will never come back to church because of their proper doctrine, ever.

Why is the victim-first mentality alive and well in religion-mixed-with-politics circles?  Is that part of the fear that helps them sell their brand? But I digress…

While they keep being “right” in their view of doctrine, these people who have been put out are hurting much more. They are walking away from God because you hurt them in the name of proper doctrine.  You alone are responsible for them walking away from God due solely to your insistence on being “right”. It stands to reason that these men and systems in for a rude awakening once they stand in front of God for pushing people away from Him:


Yes there is a greater agenda against LGBT people, is a terrible agenda, it comes from the pulpit and the politicians that are attached to those pulpits in America. It is called “dispose of the LGBT. This sexually immoral group of fornicators is our enemy and we need to remove them. They could never be considered Americans even if they serve this country in the military.”

That is the LGBT agenda. In other words, the LGBT agenda to exterminate, dispose of, ignore, separate from society, cast out, and put down everyone who find themselves with an LGB or T in front of their name. By use of cherry picked gospel verse…out of context bible verses… to “prove” their point.

Jesus did not shout bible verses at people, only the Pharisees, the separatists, who refused to believe in Him, who’s goal was to maintain power in law.

Another word for Pharisees is separatists or separated ones.

Separating and dividing.  This is exactly what’s going on here in our country in these days, in our churches and in our politics, especially with these men leading the way.

The real LGBT agenda is to also separate the LGBT people as a permanent, banned-from-church second class political whipping post. All while blaming it on anything but themselves for creating this unGod-like separation among His people in our land. It allows these stoic institutions to keep throwing verbal stones at those they consider to be “abominations until the Lord” while they keep their sins hidden in the system of a given church religion. That’s precisely what Jesus came to save us from, the religious system. But that tragically is exactly what we have today across our country.

That is the LGBT agenda, separating one American against another for the sake of religious and political power. You men and institutions are not the victims of this agenda, quite the opposite…you are the willing players to see that it continues using fear as the weapon of division.

It’s horrific.  I pray this changes towards the heart of God and changes quickly.


-Monica Jean


(photo credit to Zac Poonen from his book Fifty Marks of Pharisees)