The #GenderRevolution defined

As I looked out at the desert, hundreds of thousands of people just like me in complete silence as the sun was setting. We all wore brown parkas, hoodies over our heads and our heads were pointed down towards the sand. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, you could hear the rustling of the sand in the wind.  Everyone standing silently, suffering in desperate and quiet shame and guilt. No one dare speak to another yet we were all huddled together. You could not see anyone’s face, all were hanging low. All were facing away from the setting sun, all of us standing eastward toward the darkness of the night. We were all there because of the same reason.

I lifted my head, the sand that gathered on my hoodie fell to my shoulders and back to the desert floor. I turned around to witness the sea of silent desperation.  Hundreds of thousands of transgender people all with their heads hung low wearing brown parkas, silently suffering.

I know their pain. I am one of them.

Next to me was a small tree stump, I climbed onto it, then turned back to face the countless number of people. Then at the top of my lungs screamed “God, my God, why have you not heard their prayers to take this away from them? My prayers? You have seen them suffer, why do you not even speak a single word of healing over even one of them? Why have you forsaken all of us?”

With that I woke up.

This dream I had a few years ago was a visual illustration of what I had experienced and noticed from the countless stories I read of others: they were trapped. Being trapped, meant being scared, being filled with silent low-level anger and attempting to cope with each day…each hour…of the unspoken, internal misery.

We tried to pray it away. As you can see, God never answered our prayers. Never. Not one single prayer.

We tried to cast out demons in prayer groups. No demons were ever cast out because there are no demons to be cast out. It was a folly of human belief to think demons needed to be cast out of a person when there are no demons in the equation.  

We tried alcohol to numb the pain. It worked for a few hours. But more alcohol was needed to kill the ever-increasing pain. Then one day, even a half a bottle of whisky didn’t make a dent in the pain of the internal, silent hell.

We tried everything to deny who we really are to avoid the public exhuming of our souls if we ever admitted the truth.

We are not delusional, we are not anyone’s agenda, we are people with hearts and minds just like anyone else.

We transitioned to live. Finally live. Finally thrive.

But when we suddenly find our quiet and attempting-to-blend-in-to-society lives being used against us as political pawns for someone else’s fear-based gain, we fight back. We stand up. We say “enough”.

Do you expect us to roll over and be quiet as a small number of powerful religious and political groups attempt to erase our lives and contributions as citizens from our beloved United States of America?  No.

Hell no.

Yes there is a gender revolution, we choose life over death.  THAT is the “revolution”.

We choose to live. We choose to thrive.

God wanted us to live to be our real selves, that’s why He didn’t answer our prayers to remove the transgender from us. He wanted us to live the life He authored authentically. He wants us to thrive.

He made us transgender, that’s why He never answered our prayers to “cast away” being this way.

He accepts us as the very person He formed in the womb.  Can you accept us all the same?


The fence that needs to come down

​My fingers clutched the chain-link fence until they bled as I was standing on the edge a busy boulevard. Suddenly I find myself fenced in with no way out. I was desperately banging on the fence but to no avail.

As I traversed to my right several feet, I was stopped at a corner of that fence and it too was also stationed at the edge of a busy boulevard. People were driving by at the intersection of the fence where the boulevards met. No one outside the fenced in area seemed to care. No one can hear my screams as the windows on their vehicles were rolled up as they continued on. My thoughts racing through my mind were that some passers by were glad to see us all socially quarantined, some apathetic and didn’t care if we were sectioned off, and some simply didn’t know.

As I frantically looked for an opening in the fence to get out, I gave up as I found none. Disheartened, I looked behind me and there were many people behind the same fences as me in the cordoned off city block. Everyone either had a rainbow T-shirt on or was wearing a tie-dye T-shirt in rainbow colors. There was very little grass, people were sitting on concrete generally smiling but crammed in to this city block but trying to make the best of their lives. There was a small tent in the middle case it rained. Otherwise we were exposed to the elements. Thankfully that day was mild, without rain.

I walked around inside the perimeter stunned to see that people were generally upbeat as they lived their life and accepted their future behind this chain-link curtain that separated them from the rest of society. I could not remain upbeat after suddenly finding myself isolated from the rest of society.

That was a dream I had very soon after I (finally) accepted my fate as being transgender when I was 43. I woke up from that dream frightened. However, instantly and absolutely I knew what it meant: I suddenly found myself inside the LGBT societal quarantine. The many already in there learned to not fight but quietly accept their city-block radius fate. God bless them if they can do that, but I cannot.

I cannot accept being a looked down upon as a second-rate citizen by all those outside looking at us inside this fenced area. We are humans, formed and created by the same God professed by those who quarantined us socially.

I cannot accept any of the “ewwww, look at them, they’re going to hell because they’re LGBT” that THEY place on us. I cannot accept they separate themselves from us. I cannot accept this division in our society for the sake of political gain nor assumed religious supremacy. I cannot accept how we are treated by politicians and many preachers as enemies, yet we are their neighbors down the same street they live on.

I cannot accept it at all.

I’m still looking for a way out of that fence not only for me, but for everyone inside the societal quarantine who hasn’t enjoyed the same freedoms as I did the first 43 years of my life.

We are people, saved by the same grace of God and who love this country dearly.

So when someone like a seemingly insignificant Lady Gaga even briefly mentions the word “transgender” in a positive light, along with singing “One Nation Under God” a couple minutes prior in front of millions watching the Super Bowl, it’s something to find hope in. Finally, someone outside this fence we are trapped in sees us as humans and is attempting to break down this man-made social quarantine that controls and shames us.

Yet many who don’t have access to millions of eyeballs watching them on TV do indeed see us as humans. They are doing God’s work locally by creating bridges of unity and tearing down the toxic “Us vs Them” in our country.

This damned fence is coming down, I’m going to see to it.



Because I’m Transgender, The Boy Scouts And Our Country

​The polarization of this country is devolving us into an “Us versus Them” society that is such a shame to watch. It turns my stomach as the basic premise is rarely found anymore: we are all Americans in this together.

You’d think the church at large and politicians who associate those churches and powerful non-for-profit entities would want freedom for all in this country. That whey would desire to see us at a country of people coming together to work out differences. But instead they want the opposite: to eradicate and control others that don’t conform to their ideals. This toxic mix of legalistic religion, big money, and politics has made me a villain in their pulpits and election platforms, all because I am transgender.

After reading numerous comments on social media regarding the recent policy decision of the Boy Scouts of America to allow transgender boys into their troops, I am struck by how many people are venomous in their view of us, scared, frightened, filled with fear of anything LGBT and completely off-base many are with their rigid, legalistic thinking.

Many of the comments are so dripping in fear that it’s no surprise these people reject anything but people of their own ilk. Including and especially by being anywhere in the LGBT spectrum means we are not worthy to be in their presence. Yet these same people shout that they have morality on their side while I do not, because I’m transgender.

What I found in those comments on social media regarding the BSA policy change was that we have a long way to go to educate people on what being transgender actually means.

In response to all those comments regarding the BSA story, here’s what it really means to be transgender in this country: 

I have not suddenly ‘gone liberal’ if I am transgender.

I am not part of some evil agenda against this country because I am transgender.

I do not pose a threat to Boy Scouts. And if my child was transgender, they would not pose a threat to the Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts either.

You mock me, insist I cannot be saved unto Jesus because I’m transgender.

You talk down to me, purposely calling me sir, he, because I’m transgender.

You say that parents who put their trans kids in Boy Scouts are guilty of child abuse, all because their kids are transgender.

You insist you would pull your kid out of Boy Scouts if you found out a transgender boy in your troop.

You claim we are delusional and mentally sick, all because we are transgender.

…that includes that boy in the Boy Scout troop you just pulled your kid out of.
…that also includes the parents of the boy in the Boy Scout troop you just pulled your kid out of.
You treat me like I’m less of a citizen because I have a “sickness” because I’m transgender.

You say I don’t need special rights because I’m transgender.

Can you be fired for being heterosexual? Of course not. But I can be fired for being transgender.

We are trying to pay the bills, just like you. Yet you don’t want to be around “freaks”, as you call us, because we are transgender.

You ridicule churches who embrace God’s true love and grace, you quickly label them  as “heretical”, “of the devil”, and “backslidden”.  They threw away your toxic, legal, fear-based view of scripture.  Then you move on, all because they have and love gay or transgender members.

You see us as political hot potatoes, as your church project to “cure” us, and just another reason to separate yourselves from ‘evil’ LGBT people, all because we are transgender.

You claim we are unfit to serve in the military, even though many transgender people proudly serve this great country in the military, because we transgender.

You view us as gross, perverse, second-class snowflakes and a threat to your life and this country, because we are transgender.

The “evil LGBT agenda” does not exist. It’s a talking point to make you fearful so that you vote for these same politicians that divide America each election cycle. It works, you’ve been duped. We are their political pawns in their chess game, because we are transgender.

You see us as not possibly being saved by the sacrifice of Jesus so we are discarded in churches and in society. We are fired from jobs, physically and emotionally abused by those who share your views of us. All because we are transgender.

Some of us are killed only because we are transgender.

You believe that kids can be changed to be not transgender if you’re pray enough over him or her. Why are you trying to change something God made? God doesn’t make mistakes because He made them transgender. You are unable to accept this reality.

You make all other human creations in your image, not God’s image. You cite the “man or woman” bible verse as alleged proof. Even Jesus himself did not talk down to the eunuchs, the trans people as we call them these days, but you do, all because we are transgender.

You claim we are immoral and unworthy of being in your presence. The Pharisees did the same thing to the second-class citizens in the bible you read. And you’re just like them because you do it to us, all because we are transgender.

Jesus argued scripture with the Pharisees, the spiritual and political leaders of that day, because the Pharisees deemed obedience to their interpretation of the scripture as the highest value. Jesus won every scriptural argument with them because He showed them their folly of placing the interpretation of the word of scripture above the Word in Spirit, Jesus, who was standing in front of them. But you do the same to us these days as the Pharisees treated Jesus 2000 years ago, because we don’t believe in your rigid interpretation of the word as you see it. Then you separate yourselves from us, just like the Pharisees did with the “lesser” of society back then. Pharisee is another word for separatist. In this country’s Us vs. Them climate, you separate yourself from us, because we are transgender.

Why do you associate yourselves with these separatists, the Pharisees of today? Jesus spent time with the “least of these”, he didn’t associate himself with any of the Pharisees. Yet you do, because we are transgender.

Today’s Pharisees are making laws and decrees, insisting that we deem obedience to their interpretation of scripture as the highest value. They inside we are mentally ill and delusional, making the transgender condition invalid in their Utopian society here in America. This leads you to the obvious, fear based conclusion: it’s OK to treat trans people as lesser, they are mental basket cases anyway. And you go along with it as being a sound and moral practice, all because we are transgender.

Politically speaking, these same 21st century Pharisees want us gone from their society are seeing to it with much legislation this year. Yet the Word of the Spirit, Jesus, didn’t want this at all. Pull out your bible that you claim tells us we are perverse abominations and read what God did to the trans people of the day in Acts chapter 8:26-40. He didn’t kick them the curb, He didn’t tell Phillip to condemn the person. No. He let them be and loved them, no matter what part of the trans spectrum they were on. He loves us. But you’re doing the opposite, because we are transgender.

You wear bracelets that say WWJD? (What Would Jesus Do?) Would Jesus treat us any different than anyone else in society because we are transgender?  No of course not, Acts 8 proves that. Yet you do.

It’s time you stop believing in a system of fear and start believing in the real Jesus who works in His people, no matter what they look like. Even if you don’t like what they look like. Especially if you don’t like what they look like.

If you claim to be Christian, it’s time you have faith in Jesus, not fear-based politicians and preachers who claim to be speaking for our savior. Perfect love casts out fear, but you choose fear every election cycle and every Sunday morning. Your faith is in a system and politics, not Jesus.

My faith is not in a system nor in politics. My faith is in Jesus, because I’m transgender.