Why is this thing called “Conversion Therapy” such a big deal?
(these are thoughts mulling around in my head for a long time…years…and listening to “Saving Alex” solidified much of them, thank you Alex!)
What is Conversion Therapy? It’s sending your kid away to be cured from being gay/trans. Or having the local church “fix” the person. Demanding conformity to a system as proof of change, and saying God said so.
We’ve been told this is God’s way of dealing with your heinous sin.
We’ve been told that God approves of such barbaric conversion therapy methods to ‘fix’ kids from being gay. Because:
We’ve been told that if you’re gay/trans, you can’t go to heaven until you repent and turn from their sin.
We’ve been told for a few generations that a trans person is delusional and needs psychiatric help. We’ve been told that the LBGT agenda is out to ruin marriage and this country.
We’ve been told that “go and sin no more” is the ultimate litmus test for a Christian to be free of sin.
We’ve been told many things that are now shown to be completely false, including all of those mentioned above. Yet too many believe these things wholeheartedly, and with such a passionate zeal you wonder if they believe the same God as others. And mix it into the current political climate, and those who still believe in these falsehoods, and it becomes a toxic force to behold. Who can stand in the way of God?…or can stand in the way of men who claim to have God’s best interest at heart as they ostracize and politicize a minority of this country for the sake of “righteous vengeance”?
Who gave them the scales?
God, they’ll claim.
LGBT kids who are rejected by their parents have a much higher rate of drug use and suicide attempts. Why? LGBT kids need your love and acceptance. That’s it. Nothing else. While many parents struggle with watching their own dreams come crashing down when a kid comes out as gay/trans, your true parental, God-like full-acceptance love will show them the best example of Jesus there is anywhere on earth.
Attempting to fix them or cast them away leads to the higher suicide rates and much higher drug use.
“But what if our kid can be fixed?” Such an alluring question for parents as it means their lives won’t be turned upside down, they needn’t be challenged in their peer circles or at church, the pastor will easily approve of methods because “God says so”…and on it goes to make the comfort of the parent first and foremost. That’s the problem, the parent comes first, the kids are demanded to fit in to their perception of life. And the kid suffers mightily.
That’s toxic.
That’s wrong.
And for a long time I believed all that stuff too.
I thought I needed to follow suit, to conform, to be fixed. I knew nothing else. And I fully accepted it. Until all this gender stuff popped up. The only choice I had was to live or kill myself. That’s it. There’s no other choice. I haven’t been lied to by a liberal agenda, no liberal kool-aid was consumed, etc…the only choice is to live. If I hadn’t have chosen life, many of you would never have known me. And many would have wondered why Mike offed himself as my memory would have quickly faded, just like the bottles of Vodka I used to consume to fend-off the abysmal emotional hell I lived in.
But I would have taken my secret to the grave! How awesome is that! No challenging others to look beyond the ironclad gates of religious doctrine for greater understanding in God! There wouldn’t be a need to love any deeper, only wonder “Bless his dead heart, why did he do that?” as they go about their merry, legalistic ways.
They wouldn’t have had to concern themselves about how to handle an LGBT person in their midst because I would have been pushing daisies. The conformity-based systems including guilt, shame and religious performance, and conversion therapy push people into suicide and drug use because we can not change who we are at the core. But these sub-systems are best because “God” would want it that way. Or so we’ve been told. Because conforming to the system of expectations is more important than life!….that’s essentially what we’ve been told as well.
I chose life, outside the box of religious expectations. I knew I’d be made fun of, talked down to, berated, ridiculed because of my “decision”. But thankfully only a handful of people took the scales and held them against me, ignoring my testimony and replacing their demands for conformity.
But most people have been either “meh, whatevz” or cheerful supporters.
People: don’t think of GSA or PFLAG as the enemy. They’re not. ISIS is our enemy. Lying politicians placing us further into debt is our enemy. Kids who say “I’m gay/trans” and parents that support them are NOT the enemy! How hard is this? Don’t try to forcibly fix them! They cannot be fixed. You didn’t fail as a parent, you only need to be an example of Jesus love to them and steer them as they travel thru life just as you would if they were straight. They chose to be gay as much as you chose to be stratight.
You know what the GSA or PFLAG is? A place for people of like-souls to get together and just be, in safety. It’s no more complex than that.
If the KKK has constitutional right to congregate, why are people opposed to people to GSA or PFLAG groups congregating? Because you believe God said so? Because you believe that they are the enemy? Really? REALLY?
Stop treating fellow Americans like dirt, when they have the scarlet letter L,G,B,or T branded onto them. No matter what you think, they will indeed be standing next to you in heaven because they believe in the same Jesus you do. They will be fighting on the same battlefields as you. They will be fighting to pay their bills just like you.
But they can’t do that if they’ve been leaning on drugs or standing on the razor’s edge of suicide because you removed your love for them. They will spend years attempting to get over conversion therapy, most come out the other side of such conversion places worse than when they went in. Read Alex’s book, she attempted suicide.
Jesus never treated his children like that. Ever. What gives you the scales to be pretentious and go against the deep lessons Jesus illustrated in the red words?
They need your love, not your doctrine, nor your fears of how your church body will react. They deeply desire to be loved for they are in your presence…just like we desire the same with God. Don’t subject your kids to anything less.
Just remember, they won’t be living the American dream by definition, but nearly every LGBT person I’ve ever met, Democrat or Republican, fully supports you living yours.
Don’t interfere with them living their lives. It works both ways.
In Him,
Monica Jean